Understanding Depression

You see her curled up on her bed in a fetal position. Her sobs can be heard from the next room. Beside her bed she has a bottle of pills. She debates on whether to take them or not. For days now she has been locked up in her room, not eating nor sleeping.

You are looking at a picture of what depression is. It really is hard to describe it in words. It is even harder for a person that doesn't have depression to understand. But that is exactly what the depressive person wants; someone to understand them.

Can you relate to the description above? Chances are, you can't and won't be able to. Sure, you may have experienced a time in your life when you were down but that isn't the same feeling that a person with major depression feels. When you have major depression or clinical depression, the whole world seems bleak and black. There appears to be no hope for things to get any better. It is a world that is unknown to you. Until you have been there for yourself, God forbid that you ever experience this, you won't be able to understand. It has taken me a long time to understand that and I guess I still don't fully accept that people can't understand depression.

The hardest part of depression for me has been the lack of understanding by people. I can see now that it really isn't anyone's fault. But I also don't like to be treated less than what I am worth. Despite the advances in the field of psychology, there is still a stigma attached to having a mental illness. When I first was told that I needed to see a psychiatrist, it just devastated me. I, too, up to that point have misconceived notions about mental illnesses. My first thought was that I was crazy. So I can see how people can have those beliefs if they haven't experienced depression or any other mental illness before.

The very depth of depression is very hard for people to understand. How can something be so bad that you would rather die? But that is the way it feels sometimes. The difference between people who have never had to deal with depression and those who have is that they have better coping skills. This is what I have been learning through therapy. I have developed skills, such as my writing, to help me get through difficult times. I now think that having depression has been a blessing to me. I know that sounds a bit odd but that is how I feel. Without having to go through the depression I would never had thought to write. For this I am grateful.

A couple years back I bought a book called The Gift of Depression. When my mom saw this, she thought it was an odd name for a book. How could depression be a gift? I believe that the depression has made me a stronger person. It has allowed me to be more sympathetic towards others with the same problems.

As I travel down this road I have been focusing on trying to get others to understand what depression is. Recently I have realized that I have been focusing on the wrong group. The people that I need to reach are the ones that are suffering from depression themselves or those who have loved ones with depression. I probably won't give up on trying to get others to understand but I now know what my mission needs to be; to reach others.