Understanding the Emotional Effect of Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn's on Your Friend

Ulcerative colitis and Crohn's are not visible diseases. Sometimes these patients can be very ill and act as if nothing is wrong. Al the while, they may be in intense pain, suffering from diarrhea, or dealing with the emotional effects of having a chronic illness.

Crohn's and ulcerative colitis are not easy to talk about. No one wants to talk about their irregular bathroom habits with casual acquaintances and co-workers. I have known ulcerative colitis and Crohn's patients who have shared very little about their disease or how they feel with their family and closest friends.

You can be a friend that an IBD patient can depend on. It is, however, a decision you have to make with commitment, understanding, a willingness to listen, and a willingness to learn. Crohn's and ulcerative colitis patients have enough to deal with without friends walking in and out of their life.

The most crucial time an IBD patient needs a friend is during a flare-up or hospitalization. If you aren't up to it, then don't mislead the individual you know with Crohn's or colitis.

Granted, I will make some generalizations in this article, because many Crohn's and colitis patients are able to manage their illness and keep it in remission. However, the majority of ulcerative colitis and Crohn's patients have reported that they have more flare-ups than they report to their physician. This also means they may have more flare-ups than you are aware of.

Keeping the extent of their illness to themselves creates stress on ulcerative colitis and Crohn's patients. One of the triggers of a flare-up is stress. Thus, flare-ups have the potential to become a vicious cycle. The state of mind of a patient going through what seems like continuous flare-ups needs your help.

First, Crohn's and colitis patients need someone, other than their doctor in whom they can confide. They need someone they can talk to about their stress, whether it is related to the disease or not. They need to be able to talk about the disease without someone offering answers that they have probably already tried. Crohn's and colitis patients need a good listener.

Sometimes they want to talk about how they feel physically or emotionally. You are the one who can listen, give them a chance to vent, and not make judgments or diagnoses. Just listen.

Any chronic illness can lead to depression. Make sure that your friend gets out of the house when he or she can. Sometimes it is physically impossible to be more than ten to twenty feet from the toilet, and that is no exaggeration or joke. When they do feel like getting out, when the disease is under control, find something to do that they will enjoy. Visit an art exhibit, ride through the country taking photographs; take them to visit other friends. They will probably resist getting out, especially if they are dealing with depression and Crohn's or ulcerative colitis. Encourage them by pointing out the benefits. Even a short outing is better than become a recluse.

Crohn's and ulcerative colitis patients are often very private about their disease. It is embarrassing to them. I have seen two friends overcome some of the embarrassment and insecurity as awareness of the disease increases. However, I'm not sure it ever goes away, because you have no control of the disease. When it decides to mess with your bowels there is not a whole lot you can do, but run.

To be a friend to an ulcerative colitis or Crohn's patient try to do things to help eliminate sources of embarrassment and insecurity.

First assure them that their disease and its related illnesses do not bother you at all. Believe me; this may take years, years of repetition and years of proof. You have to be the one to minimize embarrassing moments, remind them that it is no big deal, and assure them that everyone is not staring at them. Do this with honesty and integrity.

If someone does contribute to the embarrassment or insecurity, it is the perfect time to prove your loyalty to the Crohn's or ulcerative colitis patient. If you walk away, you are no friend. Address rude, uncouth, individuals who may be ignorant of the disease. You don't have to get into details, but one of the best things you can do is run interference when someone tries to make a Crohn's or colitis incident the butt of a joke (No pun intended).

As important as anything else you can do, help brighten the day of IBD patients with hope and faith. Encourage them that they can beat this disease and live a relatively normal life. Uplifting CD's, books, and even pep talks may do more to encourage their spirit than you can imagine. The main thing is, you cannot allow them to give up hope. In order to do that you must remain hopeful.

Educate yourself about new treatments. Attend encouraging seminars and forums with your friends with ulcerative colitis or Crohn's. Help them learn to adopt an attitude of faith and courage.

Crohn's and colitis can be managed, with good medical treatment, encouragement from good friends like you, and faith.