Understanding Forgiveness

"To err is too human to forgive." This quote given to me when I was asking him for t-shirt printing ideas is an interesting quote. The idea is that we, as humans, are so corrupt that there is simply no forgiving us.

Whether you are religious or not, there is a certainty in obtaining peace through forgiveness. Whether you are the offender or the victim, the certainty still exists. Forgiveness creates a win-win situation, where the victim has forgotten the guilt and so makes himself other than a victim, and the offender's slate is wiped clean, once and for all.

When confronted with seemingly unforgivable situations, such as betrayal, lies, murder and rape, the victim is not really interested in wiping the slate clean. For instance, the understanding is that a debt as been incurred...a huge debt. And the victim is very interested in being paid back, lick for lick, dollar for dollar, hurt for hurt. The debt is something that is highly emotional and fickle in nature, and yet is just and sure in reality. Justice, true justice, acknowledges this debt, and whether you believe in God or just in Karma, the payback will be exacted, every single time.

The only thing that can get rid of this debt is forgiveness. Whether it be from someone else, or from God, or from yourself, forgiveness is the balm that heals all wounds. True forgiveness has no memory, no scar remaining for the public or private eye to see. If you would truly like to forgive someone, it must be complete and whole. I'm not talking about being screwed over again, for that is simply allowing the situation to occur a second time. If you allow that to happen, you must correct your behavior and put the guilt where it belongs: upon yourself. However, true forgiveness is only concerned with the past. It is willing to start on a new day of hope, tranquility and peace.

Remember, for the scars to heal, the forgiveness must be whole and complete. Time does a lot of this healing for you, so if you feel unable to thoroughly commit to the nature of forgiveness, wait a while. You will grow stronger and more able to heal and therefore forgive as you should.