Understanding Infidelity

First we need to note the differences between men and women. Women are emotional beings. Most (not all) women need to be emotionally connected to a man to have sex with them. Men don't need this to have sex with a woman. Sex is much more of a physical than an emotional thing for men. For example. Most women will not have sex on a first date. Most men will. Want to prove it ladies? On your next first date, when he walks you to your door, ask him if he wants to spend the night with you. Just because he was a perfect gentleman during the date and didn't try anything in proper, does not mean he isn't interested in having sex with you. He just didn't try because he figured you'd shoot him down.

Men

One thing you have to understand about men (and if you're a man reading this, you may not admit it, but you KNOW I'm right) is this. Men are not NEARLY as emotional as women. A man can easily have sex with another woman with no feelings involved. "It's just sex". If most men aren't having sex on a regular basis they are masturbating. If a man is not having sex on a regular basis, the temptation to commit infidelity is much greater. Now there ARE exceptions. Not every man will commit infidelity if they have the chance but many will. I knew a man who was married. He was an entertainer and good looking. He commonly had women coming on to him who wanted to take him home. He honestly loved his wife and had no desire to cheat. When a woman was coming on to him, he would make note of her ear rings or something similar and say, "Nice ear rings, my wife has a pair just like that". Most women would loose interest after that. Then one night, one woman didn't loose interest . He was in a town where no one knew him or his wife. He knew he could get away with it, and he ended up committing infidelity with this woman. What's the point? A man is more likely to commit infidelity when he is not satisfied at home.

Ladies

If you're a man and your wife or girlfriend committed infidelity, this section will be a great help to you.

How is your relationship with her? Is there still romance? Do you hold her hand when you walk together? Do you take her out on dates? When was the last time you bought her flowers or a romantic greeting card just because? If your wife is not emotionally fulfilled, she will find it difficult to have sex with you. Meanwhile, there's a man at your wife's work who's friendly to your wife. He tells her things like, "You look nice today". "I like your new hair style", "You have a nice smile". These little comments aren't over the top flirtatious but they have an effect on your wife. Does she hear these things from her husband ? If not, she may start getting emotionally attached to the other man and emotionally pulling away from you.. This is how infidelity often begins for a woman. My point? If you don't emotionally fulfill your wife or girlfriend, someone else may do it and the chance of infidelity is much greater.

Avoiding It

Now this article is not advocating infidelity at all. It's just meant to give you a better understanding of infidelity. So how do you keep your spouse or significant other from committing infidelity? You communicate with them!

Guys, if you're not satisfied with your sex life with your wife or girlfriend, ask yourself a few questions. "Do I make her feel loved?" "Do I SHOW her how much she means to me during the night AND day". "Am I romantic with her even when we're not having sex?". If you are doing these things and are consistent, the chance of your wife or girlfriend committing infidelity is much LESS.

Ladies, if you're not being emotionally fulfilled by your husband or boyfriend. Talk to him! Talk in clear and plain English. Men can't read between the lines. If you can't sit down with him face to face, write it in a letter to him. Tell him how much you love him but tell him that you don't feel loved or appreciated by him if that's the case. Tell him that HE is who you want and you want nothing more to make the marriage or relationship work. Tell him that you don't see the relationship or marriage lasting if changes aren't made. Then make suggestions. That's important. Men can't read between the lines. Remember, clear and plain English. Tell him EXACTLY what you want him to do and the changes you want him to make

Infidelity is one of the most damaging things in any relationship. With decent communication between you and your partner, you both have an excellent chance in avoiding something as damaging as infidelity. Good luck.