Understanding a Man's Sex Drive

In the vast majority of cases, your lover does not think of you as a piece of meat. He wants you sexually because when he is with you, in the act, he feels safe and loved and cared for. It's a lot like getting a warm hug from someone you love at just the right moment, that feeling of security and love. That is what he gets from sex. Yes, he has a strong physical need for the sexual release too, but he could get that by himself if that's all there was to it.

Ladies, guys wonder why something that feels so good to them, feels good to you, and really doesn't take that much time and energy on your part, is given so reluctantly. If you add up the hours a lot of men put in on meeting some of your needs, the little amount of time we are asking for sexually doesn't seem like too much to ask. (I invite comments here)

Remember too that in a monogamous relationship, you have the market cornered on real sex for him. For men, sex is a physical need, like eating. In fact, most men I know would give up a meal or two most days, if it meant they could have good sex. Now, ladies, put yourselves in our shoes. If you could only eat breakfast and lunch if your man fed you (IE, you wouldn't die from hunger, but would be uncomfortable), how would you feel if he constantly told you that he just wasn't in the mood or decided to withhold feeding because you didn't take out the trash. :-)

Right now, every man who reads these words is saying, "Exactly!" Every woman is saying, "What a load of crap!"

The thing is, it is the men who have the need. We really do feel this way. This is how we perceive the world. Your man is not a disgusting pig for wanting you and pursuing you. He is NORMAL. (Guys, comments here are important, back me up) In addition to that, he agreed to choose you over every other woman in the world because he actually adores you. If he didn't, he could have kept his options open. He chose you and trusted you would take care of him in this area. That 15 or so minutes of "inconvenience" (five or ten minutes for some of us) fills his "love tank" as much as 10 loads of laundry, 21 home cooked meals, 15 vacuumed floors, and 30 bathed kids. It's not that we don't appreciate those other things, it's just that we are not wired to notice them as much. (Again, I am sure this one deserves comments).

I also believe almost every man I know is more than willing to spend the extra time it takes to make sure you get your enjoyment out of love making too. If he's bad at it, shame on you. He will listen, just tell him what to do, while it's happening, and in no uncertain terms. Train that boy. So don't use the, "I don't get anything out of it," excuse. It doesn't fly. You could if you wanted to.

These are just my thoughts on how a man thinks about sex. I don't think I am very far out of the norm by thinking this way. What do you think?