Understanding Self Harm

In today's society you hear about cases of self harm more and more often. Most of these cases are in boys and girls between the ages of eleven and nineteen. Often times parents will find themselves at a loss on how to deal with this ever growing problem. Coming from a different era can make it difficult to understand why their child would ever need to result to methods like those involved in self harm in order to deal with their problems. This article is meant to help explain what self harm is and some common reasons children today are resulting to it.

Self harm is a basic term meaning to harm ones self. This can be accomplished many different ways. The person hurting themselves may cut themselves, burn themselves, hit themselves, cut off their air supply, or starve themselves. These are all very destructive patterns that can eventually lead to death. Most times the person hurting themselves does not do these things in order to bring death, they are not attempting suicide. They use these destructive methods in an effort to express themselves, cry for help, or cope with problems they may be facing.

Today, many young adults are faced with problems everyday. They may seem trivial to their parents, who brush them off, but they are so important to the child that thy end up hurting themselves over these problems. Parents should always listen to their child's problems like it is the most important thing in the world, because to the child, it is. Problems with friends, bullies, relationships and school are the most important things happening in your young adult's life. If you brush their problems off they will likely stop coming to you for advice, and with no outlet for their frustration they could turn to self harm.

All too often I hear parents say that their child is not the "type" to do things like that. I do not think they could begin to imagine how wrong they are. Sometimes some of the kids who seem the most happy in life, are hiding some problem inside themselves, and keeping it contained using only self harm as an outlet. Honor students and problem children alike are resorting to self harm. I once heard a story of a young girl who was hurting herself from the time she was around twelve until she was sixteen without anyone in her family ever knowing or having any idea. Imagine how alone that child must have felt for those four years, knowing that no one was paying enough attention to her to notice all of the marks on her body. If it was not for a nosey teacher thinking that she was taking a personal note that turned out to be a suicide letter, who knows where that child would be.

If you even suspect that your child is involved with self harm, sit them down and have a serious conversation with them. Let them know that you are there for them and you want to listen to what is going on in their lives. If that approach is not one that will appeal to your child, make it a habit to ask your child what happened in school today, or question where a bruise or cut came from. Knowing that you are paying attention to them and that you care can be enough to prevent your child from harming themselves. Sometimes there is a deeper problem like child abuse or molestation hidden behind self harm, but often it is just a child's uncontrollable emotions running away with them.

As you can see, self harm is not limited to bad children or good children; it can affect any young adult. By paying attention and noticing changed in your child's body or attitude, you may be able to effectively stop or prevent self harm. If you cannot, do not hesitate to seek additional help from a trained professional. Your child may not be happy with it then, but eventually they will thank you for saving their life.