Understanding Wild Horse Racing: Official and Unofficial Rules

The Wild Horse Race is a thrilling rodeo event at which 10 wild horses compete for audience applause by racing around the arena and trying to stomp the tar out of 30 lunatic cowboys. These cowboys (and the occasional cowgirl, but most girls are too smart for this) are tricked into participating by letting them believe they are racing to see which 3-person team can be the first to saddle and ride one of the wild horses.

The first time I saw this event, I was just nine years old, and was pretty smart for a kid. I remember thinking, "Why on earth would anyone enter in this event?" As I reached my late teens, however, my brains began vacationing in the same crevice that most teenagers' brains do, and I found myself anxiously awaiting my 18^th birthday. Not because I could vote or drink legally, but because I could finally enter the Wild Horse Race in the annual 3-day rodeo held every Labor Day weekend in western Michigan

That first year, I recruited two of the toughest guys I knew, who happened to be pretty good horsemen. At the rodeo grounds where we camped for the weekend, we met some of the other Wild Horse Racers the night before the first performance. They were nice enough, and gave us one piece of advice. If we drew a horse named Trash, we should just let her go. She's wicked and mean, and there was no sense in us getting hurt our first time out. We thanked them, but amongst ourselves we figured we were tougher cowboys and better horsemen than they realized, and agreed that if we drew Trash, we could win with her. Of course we did draw Trash. During intermission when the chutes were loaded, we all went down into the arena to halter our horses. I've never seen a horse jump up in the air and strike the chute in front of it with both front feet while simultaneously kicking the rear of the chute with both hind feet, but Trash did, and she did it so fast our eyes hardly registered the movement. Eddie said "Any way I can talk you boys out of this?" I was too busy trying to hold my water to answer, but Darryl reckoned we could handle her all right. We managed to get the halter and rope on her, and saw that as a good sign.

When the whistle blew and the chutes were opened, Trash shot out like a bullet. Darryl and Ed eventually stopped her, and she stood staring at them with her legs braced out at weird angles. Brandishing the saddle like some kind of medieval shield, I made my approach. The next thing I noticed was the cloudless sky, as I found myself flat on my back and staring up at it. I still had the saddle cradled to my chest, which was the only thing that saved me from a collapsed lung, I'm sure. We did not win with Trash that day.

With 3 performances every Labor Day weekend, we drew Trash 5 out of 9 times the first 3 years. Realizing the nobody's luck is that bad, we conducted a little investigation, and we discovered that one of the local teams was helping the stock handlers load the horses into the chutes after we'd drawn them, and doing a bit of "sorting" in the process. We had a friendly little chat with those boys behind the bucking chutes, and after that things were a bit fairer.

Surprisingly, there never seemed to be any shortage of people willing to risk life and limb for a few hundred dollars and bragging rights. In fact, if you wanted to sign up, you had to get to the entry window early or all 10 teams would be signed up before you. My second or third year entering, I arrived at 7:00 AM, two hours before sign-up started. There were already 8 people in line, each representing their team. A big, burly, blond guy of about 22 got in line right behind me, which should have completed the roster. The guys in front of us were discussing prior years.

"I don't see Jake here; he must have decided last year's broken arm was enough."

"Yeah, but that wasn't nothin' compared to Donnie's fractured ankle the year before."

"Say, how's Luke doing? Fully recovered from his concussion 3 years ago? That plate in his head don't bother him much, does it?"

Now, I figured these guys were just talking this way to see how squeamish us new guys at the end of the line were. The trouble was, while I had only been entering for the past year or two, I'd been watching this event for years, and I knew they weren't making this stuff up. Blondie behind me must have realized it too, because he suddenly announced that he was cold and was going to wait in his truck. When that big new 4 wheel drive with the lift kit and light rack started up and drove away, we knew that the only things that were cold were his feet. We never did see him again.

Eddie and Darryl eventually moved on, and I was faced with the prospect of finding new team- mates. My girlfriend Kathy (now my wife, thankfully) said "Where are you going to find two more suckers for this event?"

"I was thinking of asking Tim and Rich."

"Tim and Rich? They've never even seen the Wild Horse Race!"

"Exactly! So you think there's a chance then, eh?"

The Wild Horse Race seems simple on the surface, but over the years I've discovered that it is more complex than meets the eye. There are different rules and interpretations, depending on your point of view. For the benefit of anyone actually contemplating entering this event, here are the rules, complete with analysis and insights stemming from years of experience.

The Official Rules apply to the cowboys and cowgirls competing. These rules are usually printed out (except the last one) and distributed to the competitors. The horses have their own interpretation, which I've included in this listing.

1.) Prior to the event, you must put a halter on the horse in the chute you've drawn, with a rope snapped to it.

Interpretation: While it is acceptable - even encouraged - to kick, stomp, snort, and otherwise try to intimidate the cowboys when they're trying to put the halter on, horses must eventually allow the halter as it is crucial to the event. The rope and halter serve as a means to jerk the cowboys off their feet, drag them around the arena, and burn the skin off the hands of the ones dumb enough to forget their gloves. Extra points are awarded to horses that can successfully execute the "foot sweep", where they circle around another team of cowboys while trailing their own team behind on the rope, sweeping the other team members completely off their feet.

2.) Two people from each team will hang on to this rope when the event starts and all 10 chutes are opened. These team members are known as "the mugger" and "the anchor." The mugger tries to control the horse's head, while the anchor tries to slow down or stop the horse from running away. The 3^rd member of the team (the rider) must remain 10 feet from the chutes with the saddle in hand until their horse crosses the 10- foot line. Then he can assist the other two team members in getting the horse under control, and attempt to saddle it.

Interpretation: The cowboys standing out at the 10 foot line are there as targets for the initial charge out of chute. Note that horses do not have to target their own riders. Aiming for the riders of other teams increases the chance of catching them off guard. Also, the act of crossing your rope with that of another horse, while dragging your teams behind as anchors, creates a "criss-cross" effect, yielding an exciting variation on the "foot sweep" mentioned in rule #1.

3.) Once your horse is saddled, the rider mounts, and the mugger and anchor must let go. The rider has to stay on the horse until it crosses the finish line at the end of the arena opposite the chutes.

Interpretation: If a team manages to get a saddle and rider on you, the anchor and mugger will attempt to point you toward the finish line before letting go. Once free, immediately run in the opposite direction, making the longest possible circuit around the arena. Just before crossing the finish line, stop and buck furiously. Nothing entertains the crowd quite like having a rider make a spectacular ride the long way around the arena, just to be thrown inches before the line.

4.) There can never be more than 3 people working with one horse at any given time.

Interpretation: Since the judges seem ambivalent about this rule, enforcement is up to the horses. The more cowboys you put out of commission, the less chance there is that more than 3 will be available to work together as a team.

5.) This rule is never published but understood by all to be absolutely true. Once the event is underway, none of the other Official Rules apply at any time, except when the judges are looking. Interpretation is the same for both riders and horses.

The Unofficial Rules (apply to the judges and stock contractors):

1.) Completely ignore any of the Official Rules when watching a team of local "Good Ol' Boys."

2.) Whenever a non- local team develops a superior way of handling the horses or tack which enables it to place higher than local teams, promptly create a new Official Rule outlawing the technique. This rule warrants some explanation. I was once lying on the ground seeking enlightenment by contemplating the base of a fencepost a few inches in front of my face, and I realized three things in rapid succession. First, that I was in the midst of a Wild Horse Race, and the rope with which I had just been trying to slow down a horse named "Sledge Hammer" was a bit too short. Second, that the trajectory of my body after being launched by Sledge Hammer's left hind foot had resulted in my current prone position. Third, the rope was still within reach! Sledge Hammer was so busy basking in the roaring approval of the crowd that he failed to notice I was coming around. I quickly looped the rope twice around the base of the fence post, and pulled. By the time he knew what was happening it was too late. He fought gamely, but little by little I kept taking up more rope, until eventually it was his nose inches from the fence post instead of mine. In that position, we saddled him and I jumped on. Tim and Rich unlooped the rope and I managed to ride Sledge Hammer across the line for the win. This tactic worked so well that we decided we would always try to get our horse close to the fence to tie him off. Alas, the next day there was a new 'Official Rule:' "No Tying The Horse To The Fence!" In fact, over the years our team has contributed greatly to the expansion of the sport, being either solely or at least partially responsible for the addition of several new rules: "No looping the rope around the front leg of the horse when he strikes, and binding it up." "No replacing the cinch and girth with car seat-belts." "No pulling the horse over when it rears." "No saddling the horse on the ground when it throws itself." "No biting the horse's ear." And so on.

3.) The final 'Unofficial' Rule is that any horse that crosses the finish line in first place more than once must immediately be replaced with a meaner horse for all future rodeos. We tried to use this rule to our advantage once by reporting that "Trash" had come in first all three days one year. The stock handler just laughed and said "Nice try boys. Nobody ever wins on Trash."

As you can see, there is more to the Wild Horse Race most people realize. It's been almost 30 years since that first encounter with Trash, and the last few cells of my brain that had been vacationing since I was a teenager have reported back to work. In fact, Tim, Rich, and I have all retired from participating directly in the Wild Horse Race, and instead placate ourselves by coaching some young guys who think they're the toughest cowboys this side of the Mississippi. With our help, hopefully they'll learn the ins and outs of this complex event. At least they won't have to contend with Trash - she retired a long time ago.