Undone

i'll remember this ten years from now
looking down to see your torn jeans
resting on my bed, the faded grass stains
continually catching my darting eyes.

"we still act awkward around each other,
don't we?" you asked nervously
as you slipped your calloused hand in mine.
i never thought i'd hear you sound nervous.

i'll remember your dilated pupils,
your sweaty forehead, your wet hair,
the way i wondered if the affection
was only synthetically created.

my clumsy jokes didn't fail to make you laugh.
it was a different sort of laugh though,
calmer, sweeter, dripping with richness.
i could tell it wasn't a laugh just anyone could elicit.

i won't forget when you picked your head up off my chest
where your mouth had been raining on me.
the twists in your brow, the twists in your lips,
didn't you know that i didn't mind?

"she's still not answering," you said as you gripped my phone.
i knew you were leaving me for her yet again.
hair just one shade darker, curves drawn slightly differently
i guess she was all you really wanted that night.

but when we hugged goodbye, why was i the only one letting go?

***

There is a spoken word recording of this poem available on Mary Pascoe's debut album, "Who Brings a Cat to the Disco?"
Buy it today on CDBaby.Com!