Unemployed British Student Admits to Having Loved the Royal Wedding

Greater London, U.K-An unemployed British student whose education was cut short as per Prime Minister David Cameron's austerity cuts - which slashed college funding, housing aid, and public sector jobs - has publicly admitted to having wept in joy when we watched the royal wedding at the Cardinal Hume Centre homeless shelter.

"Man, if I had known how spectacular and breathtaking this wedding was going to be, I would have given up all my dreams and aspirations and become a tramp a long time ago," said 22-year-old Willie G. Zeitman, who is affectionately known by his indigent companions as 'Lil Prince William' because he too likes to do absolutely nothing substantial with his time.

Willie had been pursuing a first-class honours degree in BA journalism studies at City University London, but the sudden spike in tuition fees forced him to put aside his fulltime education and get a job as a wasteman. Then when his job was cut, he moved into a public housing community. Soon after, the housing community shut down and he ended up on the streets.

"Yeah, it kind of sucks to have no possessions and nothing to do, but if you do the math, you'll see that Prince William and Kate are clearly worth far more than the rest of us millions of commoners," said Willie.

He added, "Mind you, the only reason they're worth that much is because we pay their bills."

Moral of the story: I'm just picking on the fact that the wedding could potentially cost the U.K. an estimated 2.5 to 50 billion USD in lost productivity. And it doesn't help that, according to ABC News, the wedding itself cost between 16 million to 64 million USD. Security accounts for most of the bill, and it is the British people (including the COMMONERS) who must pay for it. Not to sound cynical - I personally enjoyed watching the wedding and I wish William and Kate the best of luck with their new lives - but it seems very screwed up considering all the austerity cuts that have been imposed on the people.