Unemployed and Stressed Out: How to Deal with It

You thought you found the perfect job with the perfect benefits. You pictured yourself steadily moving up the corporate ladder. You were on your way to financial freedom. You and your family were living "the good life." You envisioned yourself in early retirement with plenty of time and resources to travel and enjoy your "golden years" without worry. You saw to it that you would be able to leave a financial legacy to your children.

And then everything changed.

Your retirement account was tied up in stocks and tumbled downward along with the Dow. The company you worked for announced three rounds of layoffs and you were in the second. You won't be able to afford the COBRA payments for medical insurance for your family. You had to disappoint your children by cancelling this summer's vacation to Disneyland. You are now unemployed in an uncertain market.

Though things may seem bleak at the moment, you understand that markets turn around, and life gets better. You have a wonderful, loving family who will be there through the toughest of times. Everyone is healthy and happy, though disappointed they won't get to rub elbows with Mickey and Goofy. You know that you are resourceful and have the skills to be able to find work and generate an income to pay your mortgage and feed your family.

The job search usually will produce stress, as will change of most any kind. In today's job market and economic times, the uncertainty will likely produce its fair share of stress. This is the time for you to be diligent about staying positive, finding ways to gather emotional support systems around you, and keep yourself optimistic about the future.

When you are stressed, you must deal with it!

What Is Stress and What Do I Do About It?

According to The American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, stress is "a physical factor...or mental state, such as anxiety, that disturbs...normal state of functioning" or the results one feels when these factors are an influence (see citation).

Certainly all stress doesn't need to be negative. Stress can help you become focused on a goal, add a sense of urgency to propel you toward a deadline, or help keep you on top of your "game." Entertainers will often feel the mounting stress before opening night, giving the performance of their lives, and then able to take time to relax and enjoy the applause, feeling a keen sense of accomplishment once the show is over.

Stress is harmful when you cannot relax after you've completed the challenge or you continue to fret about "what's next," which can leave you feeling defeated, out-of-control, confused, and depressed. It can lead to emotional, physical, or behavioral problems which can cause you many health problems, if you aren't careful as you deal with the issues you are facing.

Managing your stress requires you to recognize the signs in yourself and your family and friends that will only add your problems if you try to ignore them. It requires you to be vigilant about watching your reactions to what people say and do. Knee-jerk reactions can color your decision-making or coping strategies; you don't want to pass along any undue stress to your children, your spouse, or your friends.

As difficult as it might be to do so when you find yourself unemployed and stressed, try to approach these problems as an opportunity for learning and personal growth by setting some day-by-day short-term objectives to keep you focused on the "now" rather than the "what if." It is not productive to worry about what will happen tomorrow, let alone three months or a year from now!

Make sure that you don't make any more changes than are necessary at this time. Maintain your normal routine by getting up at the same time every morning, eat breakfast, and start your day as you might normally. Get dressed and get out there and network with those you already know, but make new contacts as well. Use regular work hours to make phone calls, or meet others to drop off resumes. Make time to exercise, finish a project you started, or bicycle with your kids. It's important to maintain the same level of schedule and activity which you accustomed to living day-to-day.

Am I Going Crazy?

Sometimes the stress can become so overwhelming you may feel like you are going to lose your mind. You may find yourself dealing with depression, anger, or other behavioral issues that you don't know how to stop.

If you feel overwhelmed or alone, and you don't know how to cope, you might need to seek help from a professional counselor or coach. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but an act of courage and strength.

There are many resources available to you. Start with your family physician or a local healthcare provider and ask for a referral. Check with your employment offices as they may have a list of resources to recommend. Don't delay in asking for help. Sometimes just talking to someone helps you to see things more clearly.

What's My Plan?

Having a clear plan and sticking to a routine will help to alleviate some of the stress that you might be feeling. Don't let others talk you into wasting your time you need to devote to looking for work by doing things for them just "because you are not working right now anyway."

Remember that your job now is to find a job. Commit your time to doing so, and as you are able to determine the results from the efforts you are putting forth, set aside some time each week to review, adjusting your plan as necessary.

Relax! Take a yoga class. Learn positive-imaging techniques. Meditate. Do whatever you need to do to make relaxation a priority each day.

Develop a strong support system. This may not always be your family, because they are experiencing some of the same stress that you are. Help others. Join a networking group. Sign up for employment counseling at your local employment office. Take a career transition class. Remember to keep company with positive people, and limit or eliminate the time you spend with those whose negative energy will drag you down.

Take care of yourself. Eat healthily. Exercise regularly. Get enough sleep. Limit your use of alcohol. Be honest about how you feel, but do it with a sense of calmness. Laugh whenever and wherever you can. Now is the time to be diligent about how you care for yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

A Final Note...

Stress is not something you can avoid. It is a fact of life. Everyday you will experience some kind of stressor. Unemployment and the resulting changes it can bring makes for, what may seem to be, bigger problems.

But by dealing with the stress you can begin by clearly defining those things which cause you stress, developing a plan, and learning to manage your stress better to get you through some of the most stressful of times.

Source

"stress" The American Heritage® New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2005. 17 Mar. 2009. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stress>.