Unexpected Blessings

He sat on the edge of the couch cushion, his forehead resting on his left hand, and in his shaking right hand he held the letter. Kevin had studied the postmark on the envelope over and over again, and looked at the return address. Never thinking he would hear from her again, he was shocked to say the least.

He leaned down to the worn rug at his feet and picked up the tiny school photograph that had fallen from the letter. Studying the photo over and over again, he knew it had to be true. Blond curls, big blue eyes, and the unmistakable dimple in the chin. No, this was definitely not a joke.

"Dear Kevin,
It was very very hard to write you this letter. I would just as soon not ever have had to contact you. So many years have passed, and we weren't exactly on the best of terms before that. I am sure you never thought you would hear from me again. The thing is, I had to write to you because of my daughter. Kevin, she is OUR daughter. She is eight years old, and her name is Jenna. "

Eight years old. Jenna. It was all very hard to comprehend. The little child was beautiful, no denying it. Even though he was reeling from the shock, he instantly felt a slight surge of pride looking at the young girl.

He ran to the telephone and dialed the number included with the letter. Kathy picked up right away. The tears flowed quickly when Kevin spoke to her.

"I never meant to have to contact you. Jenna wanted me to find you, and I told her I would try. She is amazing, Kevin, absolutely amazing. She wants to know her real dad, and I couldn't deny her at least trying to find you."

All the emotions he felt at that moment came rushing out. Anger, joy, confusion, sadness, and exhilaration were coming to the surface.

"What do you want from me? Why didn't you tell me about her? How could you deny me the first eight years of her life?"

"Kevin, I didn't tell you because that night you made references to me wanting to "be with" everyone...which wasn't true......and I was hurt.......I figured I didn't need you....and I didn't...."

He hung up the phone and collapsed into the living room chair. She was right. Comments like that were frequent from him, at least they were....back then.

His own behavior at that time was despicable. Frankly he wondered why a steady stream of women hadn't shown up on his doorstep with little ones they claimed were his.

A week later he received another, larger envelope. Dumping it onto his kitchen table, he realized this was his little girl's life. Photos of her propped in a high chair, spaghetti dripping from her chin. Another image of her on a tricycle, in a tutu at a dance recital, a school photo with a missing lower tooth.....each precious image a stage in her life...a stage he had missed.

Equipped with small thumbtacks, each photo went up in a circle on his bedroom wall. He was filled with love for this beautiful child he had never met, and wanted her in his life.

The long gravel road crunched under his tires. He had rented a car at the Spokane airport and drove out to where they lived. Kathy greeted him first, holding a toddler boy on her hip. The family dog followed after that, giving him the once over.

Then he saw her.

She was a stunning little thing, with a blond mass of curls and the brightest blue eyes he had ever seen. Her skinny legs ran to him as fast as they could fly and she threw herself into his arms.

His heart had never felt like this before. Her grip around his neck was so tight, and so loving that he felt tears stinging his eyes. She pulled back to look at him and smiled.

"I knew you would come! I knew it!...."

By the end of that day, he had toured her room, looked through her doll collection, watched every video of every dance recital, including a rousing rendition of "My Boyfriends Back".......his heart was full.

Over the course of that quick weekend, he got his first chance to be a dad. They went skating, out for ice cream, to the mall for shopping where he let her pick out several new outfits. The amazement he felt as he spent time with her filled him with joy.

Back in his hotel room, he did sleep well however. He paced the floor, his stomach turning from anxiety. His life had not been easy, and his decisions had not always been good ones. Working as a backhoe operator didn't pay all that well, and he had to share the rented house he lived in. How could he even have her come visit? He had no extra room for her, and couldn't have her sleep in his room, in a house shared by two men. A complete novice at anything paternal, how would he even know he was doing anything right? What if she were ashamed of him once she got to know him better?

No, this couldn't continue. As much as he loved the child, he couldn't disappoint her. She had a wonderful stepfather, an adorable baby brother and loving mother, and lived in a beautiful house. He couldn't disrupt that.

That final day in Spokane, he went out to the house to say goodbye to her. He would leave without breaking her heart...he didn't want to cause her pain or a scene.

Kathy spoke with him in the yard.

"You know all she wants is her dad in her life. She has needed that. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to LOVE her."

Jenna came out to the car to say goodbye. Kevin could hardly look at her face as she handed him a gift she had made for him. A beautiful card with a heart on the front that said DADDY and inside had written THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK TO ME...

He gave her a hug and kiss, and looked once more into those beautiful blue eyes. Cursing himself silently, he hoped that she would one day forgive him.

Pulling away from the house and driving down the road, the image of her in the rearview mirror at the end of the driveway waving to him was the last thing he saw.........

Before he hit the brakes.

Ten years later Kevin sat in the squeaky wooden chairs in the hot sun of a June afternoon. His eighteen month old daughter wiggled playfully in his lap as he looked up at the stage on the football field. Karen, his wife, smiled proudly and held his hand.

Jenna, a tall young woman now, waved to him as she made her way to the stage to get her diploma. How beautiful she had turned out. Her life so full of promise, and her heart so loving for her family.

Kevin made his way through the crowd at the end of the ceremony to find his daughter, his baby girl Allison in his arms.

He pulled out of his pocket that homemade card Jenna had made for him so long ago. It was curled up and a little tattered from the constant opening and closing of it, but always treasured by it's owner.

THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK TO ME

The best decision Kevin had ever made.