Unwanted Advice and How to Handle It

Sometimes it seems that other people think they know what's better for you than you do yourself. We all know this for the most part is not true. From what you're eating, to what you're wearing, or how big or small you are it seems that everyone knows what's best. Some people just don't have manners! So, how do you handle unwanted advice without hurting anyone's feelings? If you're tired of everyone else's opinions, here are some ways to put them in their place without stepping on any toes.

No one can stand a "know it all" and why is this? Because they always make you feel like your not doing the right thing, or it's not good enough, or smart enough, or whatever. "Know it all's" always sneak a word in edge wise although never directly addressed and often they make it seem like there's something wrong with you. "Know it all's" are notorious for giving unwanted advice and often it doesn't really apply to the situation.

For people who open their mouth a little too often, all you have to say is "I think that (insert your problem here) is just right for me, thanks". If the "know it all" thinks you look better in red than blue and tells you so just say to her "I prefer blue and it suits me, thank you" or for the friend who watches every bite you eat just tell her "I'm an adult and I'll eat what I like, thank you. The "know it all" will be embarrassed that you stood up to her and will probably refrain from commenting in the future.

There's only one thing to be said about people who mingle in others love lives; maybe you should work on your own relationships before giving advice on others. Everyone has that one friend that's always pushing them to go talk to someone, or set you up on a blind date, or telling everyone you have a crush on someone before you're ready to spill the beans. Friends like these may think they are helping you but they may just be interfering with things you can handle on your own. In reality they are not helping you at all but stopping you from controlling your own love life.

The best strategy for dealing with this kind of person is to head her off before she gets a chance. For example, if you're single but going out with friends bring a date so your friends don't try to hook you up all night. Your date doesn't have to be anyone special either, just a friend. If your friend mingles relentlessly in your love life tell her "I'd rather be the one to go out looking for the person I want. I deserve at least that much". She will realize that there is no need for her to do what you can do all by yourself.

Busybodies bar far are the worst type of unwanted advice giving people. They always seem to have never ending questions, some very personal and none of their business. The advice they often give is one sided and in most cases should be taken with a grain of salt. And what do these people do with all the coveted information once they have it? Typically they spread it all around like rain on a spring day and before you know it everyone knows your embarrassing secrets. Often this person is a close friend who you don't realize is using your words against you, so you willing give them information. The best way to deal with a busybody is to not engage their interests in subjects you don't wish to discuss publicly. Just say something like "thanks a lot for thinking of me, but I comfortable handling this myself. Then change the subject to something safer like what you're making for dinner.

There's always that one person that no matter what the idea is they have a scary story to match it. For some reason when you mention things to these people they feel obligated to tell you their horror story of what happened the time they did such and such. When someone starts telling you a story that is worthy of becoming a scary movie just tell them "I'm sorry that you had a difficult time but how does that help me right now?" They story teller will realize they are of no help and may even be embarrassed for starting the story in the first place.

Nosy family is probably one of the hardest problems to deal with when it comes to unwanted advice. Typically these people just show up at your door just to see "what's up" and of course tell you everything you are doing wrong, or what you should be doing instead. From your mother in law to your sister, and even your close friends it can seem like people are stopping over all the time. The only way to put a stop to these surprise visits is to tell your family and friends that they must call first before coming over to your home. Then, on your answering machine record a message that says something like "You've reached (insert name). I cannot come to the phone right now. Please leave a message with your name and phone number and I will call you back as soon as possible". Then, if you don't want to have someone over it's a simple as not answering the phone. People will think you're not home and go on with their day. Call people back in the late afternoon because they are less likely to come out once they are at home themselves.

Most people who give unwanted advice and make comments that were not asked for usually mean well. But, many of us have etiquette lapses from time to time and it is easy to be nosy. In a world that often lacks respect and care for each other it is good to show some concern for those you love. But, know when it's too much and when to keep something to yourself. If you apply the aforementioned suggestions to your life, you will see that people start to back off and give you your space. Good luck!