Upon Facing a Past Long Remembered

the dwelling place of ghosts

who haunt me,

urging me to destruction.

Fear invades me.

The stench of alcohol fills my nostrils,

and the invasion of innocence creeps over me.

Flowers on wallpaper

turn to gray, and birdsong

is drowned out by heavy breathing,

ragged and ugly,

demonic...

hot like hell-fire,

and into those flames I fall.

I walk the hallways, remembering.

I see the little girl with bouncing curls

and the contagious laugh.

It's so hard

to believe that little girl was me...

Innocent and sweet,

sugar and spice

and oh so nice;

Too nice to say "no",

too nice to scream,

too nice to say "it hurts, please stop",

too nice to tell,

too nice to make waves,

too nice to everyone

but herself.

I walk into the room...

that room,

the room where my innocence

was taken.

I picture the little girl

still there,

lying on the bed,

so scared, knowing he is coming.

I wipe the tears from my eyes,

as I walk over to her.

I take her hand, and say,

"Shhh...it's okay.

Nobody is going to hurt you...

not anymore."

I open my arms, and

she climbs into my lap.

I hold her close as she clutches

onto me.

I can smell her sweetness,

and the innocence of her soul.

We sit there and I rock her...

just rock her for a very long time...

this little girl,

this sweet child.

Slowly, we merge into one.

The ghosts fade,

colors return,

and once again, I hear laughter...

my laughter.

Birds sing

a melody of hope;

I continue to rock,

my arms wrapped around

this woman child,

and I fall into restful sleep.

I fall into peace.