USB Port Toys for Grown Ups

Shy of a mouse, keyboard, printer, and other essential devices, what else can you find to fill up your remaining USB ports? A flash drive? Sure, but if you still have a few dusty, unused, USB ports left and there are still a few gadgets you can find to maximize your USB potential!

Candi, the USB Pole Dancer
Yes, you read that right. Feeling lonely on those long nights at home? Need a pick-me-up while at the office? Then look no further than Cani, your personal entertainment for the afternoon. I picked this baby up at woot.com a while back as a gag for a friend, and soon after decided to pick one up for myself.

The design is simplistic; Candi will spin in circles around the stage in her pose grinding slightly up and down the pole. Another nifty aspect of this toy are the stage lights that alternate between red, blue, and green (to, you know, re-create that night club atmosphere). Candi will dance to whatever your MP3 player wants her to - so yes, you can now have someone pole dance to Beethoven's 9th.

USB Panic Button
So, you're doing something incriminating on your computer monitor when someone is approaching - you hear their voice or footsteps closing in. You have a split second to decide how you're going to hide whatever is on your desktop at the time. Move your mouse and hit the little [X]? Nonsense! That would take far too much time. Click a separate browser tab you had prepared which already has your email loaded on it? A crafty plan, but what if the person comes to you and on closer inspection sees your other tabs. No no my friend - you have one option. You need the USB Panic Button.

You may look at this device and say to yourself - am I launching a nuclear strike on a foreign nation with this thing? While I too made this assumption the first time I saw this amazing tool, it is in fact far more useful. The USB Panic Button will immediately bring up a pre-defined image over your desktop to cover up whatever else you may have had there. The software included with the button has a few images you can chose from at a time of leisure which appear as typical office work (charts, graphs, etc).

Upon browsing the interwebs I came accross this toy and had to get my hands on one. Included with the button is software for simple instalation. A problem with the button is the fact that your image options are severely restricted to what they offer. Thankfully, there is software (link) on the internet which can be used to make your USB button much more useful by allowing you to chose which images will apear. While I think it would be slightly suspicious if someone walks around the corner to your cubicle/room and sees you panicking to smash a silly red button, it does have humor value.

USB Missile Launcher
Is your neighbor at the office throwing paper balls at you when your not looking? Well, it's time to up the ante and increase your arsenal with the USB Missile Launcher. This will bring office warfare to a new era with foam missile flying every which way.

I got the USB Missile Launcher around the holidays, and while I live in a college dorm, I still get much use out of it as I shoot my friends as they pass by my room in the hallway. The turret revolves in a full 360 degree rotation and can arc its fire upwards - all controls are done on your keyboard with the arrow keys. When your ready to fire the turret will give a slightly annoying alarm sound and fire. There is a slight delay, between when you tell it to fire and when it will actually launch, so you'll need to time your shots right.

There are various forms of the USB Missile Launcher, including versions with web-cams attached to the turret so one can launch a more accurate volley of foamy death. Though, I havn't tried one of those bad boys yet.

USB Mini Aquarium
If you've had enough insanity from the previous devices, perhaps you need to calm down and relax with a nice fish aquarium. The aquarium casts an arua of soothing blue light as two "fish" swim around in the liquid. Its mildly entertaining and can be stared at to pass time while restarting your computer or doing other time-consuming tasks. Thankfully, these fish do not need food to live - just the precious electricity supplied by your computer.

Thats all I've got for now. I know there are a lot of other USB devices out there that I wish I could get my hands on (mini putting set, or a 1-soda can refrigerator). But alas, I also only have so many USB ports!

Links for the above products are supplied below. Don't trust me though for the best pricing - shopping around will likely fetch good deals (or use woot.com).
Candi, the Pole Dancer
Panic Button!
Missile Turret
Aquarium

Enjoy! ^_^