Use Your Memories to Boost Confidence

Oftentimes, it is easier to recall a time when we messed up rather than a time when we did the right thing. This is because people frequently use their memories to prevent future mistakes. While occasionally helpful, constantly using the past as a way to avoid mistakes in the future can destroy your self-esteem and confidence.

Your memories can do better than that. They can help you to build confidence, creating new opportunities for growth that you may have thought impossible until now. Memories of yourself are a vital link to rediscovering self-esteem. The following exercises will help you to develop these two important qualities, creating happiness and optimism in your life.

Before each exercise, get in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths. When recalling your memories, the more details you remember, the stronger the affect the visualization will have for on your self-esteem. At first, you may have a difficult time remembering these positive moments. Due to brain's desire to protect, it sometimes does not allow these powerful and life changing thoughts to come through right away. Just be patient and let it come slowly-even if it's just fragments in the beginning.

Remember Your Favorite Vacation
When to do this exercise: When you feel overwhelmed and need to regain your sense of possibility, optimism and confidence. It is also good for general confidence building.

In your mind's eye; picture the best part of the best vacation you ever went on. Using all of your senses, remember how the moment felt. What details can you recall? What did the air smell like? What did you see? Remember the confidence you felt, as you enjoyed the freedom you felt being on vacation. Remember knowing that you had time to do whatever you pleased; go shopping, read a book, or any activity you desired. Remind yourself that this feeling is available to you at any time and, just because you may not be away from home, does not mean you can't do the things you enjoyed on this vacation.

Remember Standing Up for Yourself
When to do this exercise: When you need courage, your self-esteem is very low, or you need the confidence to confront someone

No matter how few and far between, everyone has a memory of standing up for themselves. It may have been terrifying or it may not have ended well, but it still took guts. Remember a time when you had the confidence to stand up for yourself. Feel yourself in the memory, boldly claiming your worth or the worth of someone else. Experience the passion you felt at that moment. Allow your heart to fill with pride over your strength. Standing up for yourself, no matter the end result, is a wonderful accomplishment that you have already achieved. Know that you can tap into this passion again and make your stand anytime you need to.

Remember When Taking a Risk
When to do this exercise: When you think you have lost control over circumstances in your life or you need to confidence in your decision making skills

Taking risks is one of the most life affirming and self-esteem building things a person can do. By risking something for yourself, you show confidence in your decision-making skills and in your ability to put yourself first. Remember a time when you took a risk. Perhaps you ended an unhealthy relationship or left a job that was eating away at your self-esteem. Maybe you decided to get a pet, despite the work it would take. Remember when you first realized that the option was out there and the exhilaration you felt. It is exciting to take a chance on yourself. Know that there are options, now, of which you may not be aware. There are risks you can take to put yourself first, once again. Savor the feeling of potential and the boldness of acting solely on your gut instinct, despite what anyone else may think.

Remember Creating Something Beautiful
When to do this exercise: When you feel that you are not making a worthwhile contribution in your life or you need to get back in touch with you creative side

Remember a time when you created something beautiful. It may be as simple as a delicious meal, a poem you wrote when you were a child or you or your spouse giving birth. Feel the satisfaction you felt when you first finished your creation and the confidence that the creation was beautiful. Let the pride over your accomplishment well up inside of you. Remember how you thought, "I made this," savoring your achievement. Let your self-esteem grow as you realize that you are capable of creating beautiful things anytime you choose. Remember that these creations don't have to be perfect to be beautiful and they don't need to be lofty to be important. Keep this feeling of accomplishment with you as you go about your day, knowing that you are a significant creator in the world.

Remember a Time When You Helped Someone Else
When to do this exercise: When you feel overwhelmed by guilt or have stopped believing you are a good person

Helping others can give your self-esteem a major boost. Remember a time when you helped someone else. Make sure this memory is a positive one and not one where you were manipulated into helping another. Instead, remember a time when you helped someone out of love, confidence and joy (you can tell the difference because a positive memory will instantly lift your spirits). Perhaps you volunteered somewhere or gave some one advice that changed their lives. So often, we rob ourselves of these precious memories, not letting ourselves know how good we are. Remember the feeling of goodwill and selflessness that accompanied your help. Being generous is rewarding both for the recipient and the giver. By recalling this memory, you become both, and can enjoy giving yourself a moment of pleasure and receiving the benefit of a boost in confidence.

Work with these positive memories for at least a few minutes each day. The more you work with these positive memories, the more you self-esteem and confidence will rise. You will find yourself more optimistic, happier, and willing to make difficult decisions. Using your memory in this way will create even more wonderful memories to work with in the future!