Use the Weight Loss Pill Alli: Lose Weight, Look Great, Crap Your Pants?

Recently, a new diet drug by the name of alli has been approved by the FDA and released for over the counter sales. It is a milder form of the prescription diet pill Xenical. The idea behind this pill is to help block the amount of fat which is absorbed into your body. When less fat is absorbed into your system, it means you're also not taking in as many calories. In turn, you should then be able to lose weight.

Sounds fantastic, doesn't it? I mean, after all, hasn't America been searching for a solution like this? Take a pill, and the weight will magically fall off? Yes, admittedly, all of this does sound wonderful. However, as the cliché goes, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is."

In the case of alli, "the too good to be true" comes in the form of what their maker, GlaxoSmithKline, refers to as a "treatment effect." Yes, you read that correctly; not a side effect, a treatment effect. What is this treatment effect, you may be asking? Here it is directly from their website: http://www.myalli.com/howdoesitwork/treatmenteffects.aspx

"What are treatment effects?
alli™ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. You may get:
•gas with oily spotting
•loose stools
•more frequent stools that may be hard to control"

In other words, take this pill to lose weight, but you're going to crap your pants. I'm not really sure if I find this amusing, disturbing, or a little bit of both. In fact, the makers of alli even impart the following words of wisdom to all those who work for a living and contemplate taking this weight loss pill:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work"

The above blurb can also be found at the same web address given above. In other words, if you're brave enough to take this pill, and go to work, you will probably crap your pants at work. I suppose in one sense, it could be a good perception test of your co-workers. "Hey Bill, is my mind playing tricks on me, or did you have a different pair of pants on this morning?" On the other hand, you're going to probably find yourself in some pretty embarrassing situations. You better hope you don't have any important, long, meetings in the near future.

It's one thing to calmly get up and excuse yourself to use the restroom. It's entirely different when you have a distressed face and rush out of the room to head to the restroom with a bag full of spare clothing in hand. You're probably going to get quite a few odd looks.

There are numerous other amusing/horrifying things about this pill. For example, they mention that before you take alli you should commit to cutting back on your calorie and fat intake. You should also be prepared to commit to physical activity. The fact is, if most people would cut back on calorie and fat intake and got regular physical activity, there wouldn't even be a need for alli.

Personally, I think this fall ought to be quite interesting. I can only imagine how many high school and college girls will find themselves dashing out of the classroom hoping they make it to the restroom in time, before they crap their pants. I'm sure this pill could also be added to the arsenal of those involved in the sport of wrestling; where using laxatives is a long used method to help cut weight.

Now, alli can block the fat, as opposed to having to take a ton of laxatives, to ensure very little calories get absorbed into the body, to make weight for a match. I also imagine this pill ought to help out with a few fraternity pranks and pledge activities too.

I can truly empathize with those out there who are overweight. I, myself, fall into this category. However, the search for the "holy grail" of a weight loss pill is just going to have to continue. I just don't think alli fits the bill. I do not doubt alli can help you lose weight. I just don't think you should have to crap your pants to do it.

You can lose weight by cutting fat and calorie intake and getting exercise, best of all, you won't crap your pants. Do yourself, and your wardrobe, a favor; don't buy alli.