Useful Tips on Raising Your Teenager: Encourage Independence and Letting Go

It has been said that the two most important things we as parents can give our children are roots and wings. Beginning in early adolescence, or even earlier, and continuing throughout the teen years, the adolescent's quest for independence often becomes an arena for conflict. Most teens want to put as much space between themselves and their childhood as quickly as possible. They see the future and strive to be independent.

Parents, on the other hand, are more cautious and slow in granting independence. One of the hardest jobs of parenting a teenager is influencing the right amount of personal independence to extend to a child at any one point. It becomes a balancing act between not having enough boundaries and not having enough boundaries. A good rule of thumb is to increase a teen's privileges at a rate proportionate to his or her track record for maturity, reliability, and dependability. Also keep in mind the safety is an important factor in allowing more freedom and independence.

There are many ways that a parent can encourage their teens to be independent. Begin treating them more like an adult and less like a child. Give them as many opportunities as possible to make independent decisions and choices. Allow them to do things for themselves and to learn from their mistakes.

As parents, we must learn to eventually let go of our children. It will be a difficult thing to do, but we must trust that the morals and values we have instilled in them will guide them to make the right decisions in life. Give your teens as much freedom as possible in making decisions about their lives. Then, when you have to say no, they will value your opinion and generally listen without resistance.

If there is one thing that I try to instill unto my children and that's to live by this statement. "You are responsible for your actions. Anything you do in life will have an end result. You will either reap the rewards, or suffer the consequences of that action you take. Choose your actions wisely."