Uttering Forgery and Other Crimes of Non-Passion

Around here, about every three months, the local paper prints a list of indictments for the upcoming term of circuit court. Basically, it's just the names and charges, but occasionally, there's some interesting things listed. I thought I'd share a few.

Apparently, a couple from Alabama were visiting in our little town and decided they wanted to go home to Alabama. Now, I'm not sure why they didn't have their own transportation, but they worked it out because they decided to drive away in a car they discovered behind a local establishment. Around 2:00 a.m., they allegedly drove away in the car and later realized there was a lady asleep in the back seat. I assume they discussed the matter and then decided to drop the woman off somewhere out in the middle of nowhere on their way out of town. They didn't harm her, but unfortunately for them, they were caught and charged with kidnapping and grand theft. They pled not guilty. Lesson here, always check the back seat before driving off in an unfamiliar vehicle.

In addition, there were several accounts of vehicle burglary. I pity anyone who breaks into my car to steal that $1.65 in change that I keep in the console. If they'll take all the other odd papers and trash that somehow manage to end up in the car, they're welcome to the money. And if they'll clean the inside a little with a cloth, I'll write them a check.

There's also a number of people charged with "possession" of stolen property as opposed to those charged with "receiving" stolen property. I've been thinking on that one, and apparently someone can just leave some stolen property in your house or something without you actually receiving it. Maybe I need to return that book back to its rightful owner. After all, I don't know where she got it. I knew she was too quick to offer to let me read it.

Here's one, felony malicious mischief. Oooh. That sounds bad. There's several people charged with that one. Somehow the words "felony" and "mischief" don't really go together to me.

One of my favorites listed is "uttering forgery." I'm trying to figure what this is, but since this person, too, was charged with allegedly burglarizing a car, I guess in his case, he kept uttering something not true. Maybe that it was his car, you think?

Another indictment is about a library clerk who is alleged to have embezzled $15,000 from her work place. If convicted, she could be facing ten years in jail. Let's see, by my calculations, that works out to $1,500 for each year. Not very good rate of pay for crime. My philosophy is if there's a chance of going to jail, best make it worthwhile.

Of course, all these people are only charged, and they will have their day in court. I'm sure they all have a good explanation. At least, they have until April to come up with one. Let's see, maybe I can help the guy who's charged with uttering forgery. "I'm sorry, all these new cars look alike in the dark, and I can't see a thing without my glasses."

Source:

"The Oxford Eagle" Newspaper