Vacation Disaster: How Not to Begin a Trip

Upon returning from our summer vacations, my neighbor and I compared notes and swapped vacation stories. My neighbor remarked that her European trip was the first vacation that her family had taken where absolutely everything was perfect. She noted that for the first time in sixteen years, there were no family disputes about where to eat, no arguing between kids while traveling, and no major catastrophes occurred on the trip. She also pointed out that her children were now all grown. Without me even sharing specific details of my vacation, she already knew what I had encountered and she enlightened me that since I had youngsters I would definitely be experiencing comparable situations for a long time to come. She let me know that family vacations are not always the vacations we visualize in our dreams or see on television. It seems that no matter how much planning and preparation I put into preparing for vacation, I still seem to encounter unexpected mishaps. After my most recent trip to the beach, my daughters have jokingly referred to me as Chevy Chase from the 1983 National Lampoon's Vacation movie. Without a doubt, I probably earned the title. Hopefully, by reading this, you can take some appropriate actions and avoid a similar disaster.

As with all the trips in my household, I became daddy drill sergeant. I promptly let everyone know days in advance that they needed to develop a packing checklist and start packing things well in advance of the beach trip. For this trip, I was pleased and quite proud that each child did their part to be organized and completed their packing in record time. The children really had a difficult time controlling their excitement and eagerly awaited our day of departure.

On our departure day, with the help of my teenage son, I carefully loaded the van and positioned all the luggage, snacks, and necessities where they needed to be. Of course, my son and I were amazed at how much stuff the females of the household had packed. For the guys in my household, a trip to the beach just doesn't require three suitcases per person. We attempted to convince the lovely ladies to cutback but we failed to convince any of them to do so. In an attempt to utilize space to the maximum, we placed a couple of suitcases on the outside luggage rack. Both of us secured the luggage (so we thought) and rushed everyone out to hit the road. Our goal was to make it to the vacation spot in time to take full advantage of the once weekly grand seafood buffet.

As is often the case, my son and I were questioned about the luggage placement by the ladies. We let everyone know that we knew exactly what we were doing and that we were not soliciting any questions or comments from anyone who had not lifted a single piece of luggage. Two hours into the trip, my ten year old daughter suggested we stop and check the outside luggage and make certain it was secure because she just had a feeling. I promptly informed her that father knows best and we needed to make it down the interstate to get to the seafood buffet on time. Believe it or not just a couple of minutes later while moving at 70 mile per hour I heard a big thud! Looking through my rear view mirror I saw a huge flower-patterned piece of luggage dropping onto the hard surface of the highway. The girls immediately looked out of the back window. What followed was nothing short of pure family chaos.

My wife panicked. In the course of six seconds she told me to pull over no less the eighty-seven times. Both daughters bombarded me with screams and the tears begin to flow. The suitcase was one that contained nothing but the belongings of the girls. My six year old thought the guys had enacted a conspiracy against the girls. After moving to the shoulder of the road, I could see that the luggage was about two hundred yards behind us in the middle of the interstate. Vehicles were doing their best to avoid hitting our cargo, but it was definitely not a positive situation. I certainly wanted to return and pick up the suitcase but everyone agreed that it was not in my best interest to do so. I decided to take the next exit and try a return trip to retrieve the luggage. This took longer than I anticipated but it seemed that my plan was going to work. Regrettably, right before I was able to walk across the highway median, a car ran over the baggage. In one big burst, the girls' belongings were flying in all directions and with every passing automotive their possessions continued to take to the air. There was absolutely no way to grab my daughters' belongings safely. Items were scattered all over the place.

Needless to say, with this being the start of the trip we were not off to a good start. For the next three hours I got an earful from all the household females. The trip was torture. The seafood buffet was definitely out of the question and once we reached our destination the evening was spent shopping at whatever stores we could find open. My ten year old daughter even reminded me that she not only wanted replacement clothes, but a feminine luggage set as well. I, of course, only desired a couple of things at that point- strong luggage ties and a good night's rest with plenty of peace and quiet.