Vacationing with the In-Laws

While I hear stories about people not getting along with their in-laws, both my wife and I actually enjoy spending time with each others' parents. Since my son was little, we have always included my mother on our vacations. That's Disney World three times, Universal Studios, Acadia National Park, and many others. We find having her along has actually strengthened our relationship and increased our enjoyment of the vacation itself.

Planning Time Together and Apart While on Vacation

One of the things we always try to do is find time,during our familyvacations, to spend together as a group as well as inpairs. For example, my wife and my mother might go out to the shops at Downtown Disney, while my son and I hit the high-speed thrill rides and video arcadesone day. On another day, my wife might take my son while my mother and I take a leisurely photo safari through Animal Kingdom. Of course, my son also gets special time with his Grammy, while my wife and I go out to dinner and dancing.

I find that while we do enjoy all being together for some activities, by pairing up, we all spend more focused time on each other, building common experiences and deeper bonds. Wake Forest University Professor of Counseling, Samuel Gladding agrees. In a statement published at Newswise, he said "Don't plan to spend every minute with the group. Set aside time to go out to eat or do some other favorite activity with your own immediate family," but he said, it's important to set expectations first so that everyone knows what to expect and doesn't feel that they are being left out.

Indeed, when we go on vacation, we make loose schedules: one day we all do this, the next we'll split up like so, and then we'll all go here on anotherday. The planning is collaborative as well so that no one is imposing their will on anyone else. The loose vacation schedule sets clear expectations of the main activities everyone wants to do while on vacation, while leaving plans flexible enough so that we can play it by ear each morning as we get ready for each day. If we wake up feeling a little run down and need a slow day instead of a big group day, we can choose something that fits our moods from the list ofoptions we had planned out for the vacation.

Strengthening the Marriage by Bringing In-Laws on Vacation

Bringing in-laws along on a vacation, especially if you have children, also allows you to spend quality alone-time with your spouse without worrying about the kids. A romantic dinner, a night of dancing, or some other date night activity in an exotic, relaxed vacation environment can work wonders to help strengthen a marriage.

Unless you think we're leaving my wife's parents out of the picture, we also try to plan activities with them as well, although we stay closer to home with day trips because of their health issues. A trip to the zoo, a day of fishing at the Quabbin Reservoir, or just visiting as a family and working around the yard and garden with them can be just as valuable in building strong relationships for in-laws who are simply not up to extended, high energy family vacations due to health or other factors.

Road Trip with the Mother-in-law

This summer, we're taking my son off to college across the country by car. With his grandmother along, we'll be taking an 18 day road trip across the country in a mini-van, stopping to see such landmarks as Niagara Falls, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone, and Badlands National Park and staying in different hotels each night along the way. We'll end up dropping him off at college in Montana where we'll all attendhis college orientation session before the rest of us turn around for the return trip back to the east coast.

Establishing Family Tradtions

Now that my son is growing up and heading off to college, we hope extended family vacations will continue as a long-lasting family tradition even after he sets up his own household. We make a point of reminiscing about the good times we've spent together as a family to reinforce those shared memories. We've also made it a point to let both my mother and my wife's parents know that when and if they are ever ready, they are welcome to move in to our house with us to enjoy their golden years at home with family.