Valentine's Day: Why It's the Worst Day to Propose

Many men, looking for the ultimate romantic proposal, opt for a dozen red roses and a candlelit dinner to set the stage for popping this most important question in mid-February. Despite the hype, however, Valentine's Day can be one of the worst days for a marriage proposal, for three key reasons: it's too popular, too cliche, and too easy.

1. It's Too Popular

Valentine's Day evokes the same imagery year after year: red hearts, cubby Cupids, and fuzzy pairs of teddy bears. While the inherent romance of this holiday may make it seem like the perfect day to propose, that is precisely what hundreds of other couples are thinking. There is nothing less romantic than popping the question on a moonlit beach, over a candlelit dinner, or on a quaint garden path when another couple is doing the same thing just a few feet or yards away. Furthermore, even if no one else in the immediate vicinity is on bended knee, the very presence of so many other couples interested in romantic dinners, quiet walks, and solitary kisses makes the proposal less intimate and private.

Even if a couple manages to avoid these types of crowd issues with a Valentine's Day proposal, when they go to share their happy news with family members and friends on February 15 they will not be greeted with surprised smiles and spontaneous congratulations. Instead, parents will smile at them with knowing nods and the "Ah, Valentine's Day" comments of people who were expecting just this sort of event on such a predictable occasion popular with many couples.

2. It's Too Cliché

The very imagery of Valentine's Day is meant to evoke thoughts of romance in the most blatant way possible. After all, doesn't every woman love red roses, chocolates, and jewelry? Voila, instant romance! Today's brides-to-be, however, zealously guard their individuality and do not often appreciate being lumped in with hundreds of other couples who popped the question on February 14th. The cliché images promoted by the jewelry and greeting card industries may seem romantic on television, but just as each couple enjoys a unique relationship and every woman has unique tastes, so too should every proposal be unique to the love that two people share.

3. It's Too Easy

A woman wants to know that her future husband is willing to commit to their life together and that he is willing to take the time to honor her and cherish their relationship. Picking up a bouquet of flowers and pulling out a ring box on a holiday built around both flowers and jewelry does not show significant effort or intentional design to create a memorable, meaningful proposal. Asking someone to build a life together is a monumental question that deserves monumental effort, not simply choosing the "romance package" at a local hotel or picking the night to go to dinner when the restaurant will have live music. Not all men are natural romantics, true, and Valentine's Day can make being romantic easier, but marriage is not easy and a more personalized, intimate proposal will be far more meaningful on one of the other 364 days of the year.

Despite these warnings, many couples are still entranced by the romantic atmosphere of Valentine's Day and want to share a Valentine's Day proposal to make it an even more sentimental holiday in their relationship. Romantic proposals can happen on February 14th if they are personalized and memorable without relying on the calendar date and if just as much effort is made to create a romantic, loving question without the hype of a certain number. By understanding why Valentine's Day can be a terrible day to propose, however, couples can clearly see how to avoid the clichés, ease, and popularity of the day to create a unique and memorable proposal suitable for their unique and memorable relationship.