Values and Beliefs About Money in Marriage

Financial stress and problems can place stress on any marriage. Many couples don't realize that even when money is not in short supply, it can still be the root cause of friction and fights. In her book, Lies at the Altar (Hyperion, 2006), Dr. Robin L. Smith lists a number of questions about money that married couples should work through to try and establish financial harmony in the home.



Questions About Managing Finance in Marriage

Individuals are used to managing their own finances and on marrying, a decision needs to be made over who will control the money. Here are some questions to ask that will help clarify these issues:

• Is income to be combined and allocated as needed?
• Should income go into a joint account?
• Should the husband or wife control the finances or should it be a shared responsibility?
• Who is better at managing money?
• Is it important to stick to a strict budget?
• Should spending money be shared equally?
• Is it acceptable for a wife to earn more than her husband?

What to Do With Extra Money in a Marriage

While some couples earn barely enough to survive, others have money to spare. Deciding what to do with surplus cash can cause as much friction as having no money. Here are some questions that will help define values and prompt decisions about money:

• What about charitable giving or sponsoring a child in another country?
• Is it acceptable to gamble or buy lottery tickets?
• How much should be spent on entertainment?
• Are late model cars, private schools and living in the best area more important than saving?
• How much should be saved?
• What form of savings or investment is the most suitable with the best returns?

Questions About Family Members and Money

Life is not perfect and situations may arise where aged parents, family members or grown children need financial assistance. If couples have discussed these possibilities, it makes it easier to decide on a plan of action if the need arises. Questions to look at include the following:

• What are the options for elderly parents who need assistance in daily life?
• Do the family members need temporary assistance or will it be long term?
• Is the grown child going back to college or an addict that needs help?
• Should a child do chores for his allowance?
• Are both partners in agreement about the decision?

Financial management in marriage is a complex subject with many individual considerations. If couples discuss money management openly and address issues such as joint bank accounts, budgets, use of disposable income and financial help for family members, it will be easier to keep the household running smoothly and peacefully.