Varuna and Miss Pickles the Clairvoyant

It was just as any weekday morning at, I Have It Right Consulting Inc. Varunas very own consulting company, when suddenly this post card was slipped under Varunas office door, so Varuna walks herself over and picks it up and it said:

Are you looking for a way to rule the world, have overwhelming control over others, thoughts, words, and deeds.

If the answer to these questions are an overwhelming yes, then you must come and see Miss Pickles Clairvoyant .

For directions please see the other side of the card

Miss Pickles Clairvoyant
1457 Main Street
Poquito Mas, California

So Varuna thought to herself, why yes Miss Pickles I do want to have such powers, then I can rule the whole world, and then she broke the silent's with a loud chuckle, "Hum, Hum, Ha, Ha, He, He, yes I do Miss Pickles Here I Come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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As Varuna spots the store front, she runs over and swings open the door with such force that it bounces off the wall and hits Varuna in the face, but that did not deter her. in a loud booming voice Varuna says, "Miss Pickles I'm here it's me Varuna," and then this little man no more than 5ft tall comes out from behind the back wall, and Varuna blurts, "Who are you and where is Miss Pickles Clairvoyant, I want to talk to her now!!!"

All in good time Varuna, but first I must prep you for your session with Miss Pickles, I'm her assistant Mr. Clump, now please follow me to the back room.

So Varuna makes it to the back room that is vary ornate with thick red velvet drapes with golden accents and the walls covered with Victorian pitchers of people, of an era long gone but not forgotten, and a big crystal ball setting on a golden four legged stand in the center of a large round table cloaked in a heavy purple velvet table cloth.

So Varuna has a seat across from Mr. Clump and then Mr. Clump goes on to say:

"Consider yourself very lucky Varuna it is not everybody that gets an invite to Miss Pickles............"

Oh I am Mr. Clump!!!!!

"Silent's!!!!!! ....... You interrupt me one more time and you will not see Miss Pickles, now this is how it works, Miss Pickles will enter this vary room that we are in she will ask you what you want in life and then she will channel The Queen Of California, as folklore tells, thousands of years ago this land was the land of Califa and it was ruled by the very powerful Queen Califana, now as she channels Queen Califana she will be speaking Califano the long forgotten language of the land, so I shall be in the corner taking notes and will translate word for word what was said, because I am the only known man on earth that still speaks and understands Califano, now please excuse me as I go and fetch Miss Pickles."

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Miss Pickles enters the room dressed as an high society Victorian Woman complete with large hat and white gloves, as she approaches the table she reaches out her right hand and introduces herself. "Welcome Varuna, Miss Pickles." Varuna takes her hand and says, " Oh Miss Pickles this is the best day of my life!"

So they both have a seat and Miss Pickles asks the question, "So Varuna what is it that you want in life?" Varuna blurts out with a crazy sneer on her face, "I want the power to control people in thought, word, and deed!!" "Very well I must have complete quite as I channel Queen Califana, Mr. Clump please enter we are ready."

Mr. Clump enters the room and takes his seat in the corner and then it starts with these words said by Miss Pickles:

"Oh mighty and all powerful Queen Califana of the forgotten land of Califano,
We have some one who yearns for power.
We can not say it any louder,
So please do not sour,
But shower,
This budding flower,
To never cower in her quest, for ever lasting power."

And then Miss Pickles slumps forward and gives two little twitches and slightly jerks to the right and then to the left, tosses her head back in an hard and violent jerk, and then with her eyes closed she begins to speak.

"Ad geti ele foye lastante povo tio yi avdita por, yi devi unu pruvi yiselfa lodinda per spendinte ela tuta tago farinte kio alias diri sen asko oru penso, ko allora, ko nura allora eson yi havi ci grando povo ad havi tuta kontroli super alias."

And then she slumped forward and Mr. Clump came running to Miss Pickles and took her hand and he said, "Miss Pickles it's over, come back to us, Miss Pickles."

And with a gasp of air Miss Pickles awakened and asked, "Did I do good, did Queen Califana answer Varunas question?" And Mr. Clump said, "Yes dear you did wonderful now go and get your rest, you know how this takes from you." And they both left the room.

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A few minutes later Mr. Clump enters the room and takes the seat across from Varuna.

And he goes on to say, "I have taken my notes and translated it to English now here is what the Queen said:"

"To get the ever lasting power that you thirst for, you must first prove yourself worthy by spending the whole day doing what others say without question or thought, and then, and only then will you have this great power to have total control over others."

And then Varuna asked, "Well how do I go about that I just can't run up to someone and say, hay you tell me what to do."

And then Mr. Clump told Varuna that he and Miss Pickles can help her wut with that.

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So a few minuets later Mr. Clump returned with Miss Pickles and they both instructed her on her only task of the day it is to get dressed up as Miss Pickles and cross the street and rob The First Bank of Poquito Mas.

So without any thought or question Varuna crosses the street walks into the bank and with gun in hand she shouts, "This is Miss Pickles and you are going to give me all of your money," So all of the tellers fill Varunas bag to the breaking point and as she leave she walks into a cohort of police that rush her take her gun and say. "We have finally caught up with you Miss Pickles, your days of robbing banks across the nation are over, so what do you have to say for yourself. All Varuna could shout was, "I'm not Miss Pickles, my name is Varuna!!!" And then the police officer said. "Nice try Miss Pickles, but we have a whole bank of witnesses that will testify to the courts that you announced your name as Miss Pickles......... You are going to be locked up for years to come."

Then as Varuna was placed in the squad car she started speaking uncontrollably, about how she was told by Queen Califana that if she did what other said that she would be granted the power of thought, word, and deed, over all others on earth.

All the police officers did was chuckle as they drove her off to jail.