Venerable Verbiage IV

I'm so tickled that I finally found a cozy home for a lot of the derelict words I've been dragging around with me for all these years. Who sez the Internet is useless? This is the last installment for now (do I hear cheers?) of Verbal Verbiage, and I'm doing this one in the form of a test. You will be graded, class, so take a deep breath and take your time.

Choose one from column A and find its match in column B. You'll probably be hungry again in an hour (sorry about that). I threw in a few extra B's to make it tastier.

Column A

• 1. Adipocere
• 2. Aedoeocephalus
• 3. Agnate
• 4. Ainhum
• 5. Allochezia
• 6. Anilinction
• 7. Ankylochilia
• 8. Ataraxis
• 9. Copodyskinesia
• 10. Glou-glou
• 11. Hemisomnambulism
• 12. Imu
• 13. Jhin jhinia
• 14. Lucaena glauca
• 15. Miryachit
• 16. Oneirogmus
• 17. Ozostomia
• 18. Paracusis of Willis
• 19. Pathic
• 20. Procheilon
• 21. Signaturist
• 22. Silajit

Column B

• a. Difficulty moving because you're plum tuckered from doing the same old same old stuff; aka occupation neurosis.

• b. Sleep state in which you're conscious and stuck with your usual obnoxious personality. (Sounds like normal life!)

• c. One who submits to the unnatural sexual desires (whatever they are) of another.

• d. Bizarre condition, more common among blacks in tropical countries, causing linear constriction and contraction of a toe, usually the little one, which gradually amputates the toe. (Wonder what kinky karma these patients are working out).

• e. The discharge of non-fecal matter by the anus, or the discharge of the real stuff through an abnormal passage. (You don't want to think about this one too much).

• f. Fetal monster with no mouth, nose resembling a penis, and only one eye socket. (No joke here).

• g. Adhesion of the lips. (How inconvenient).

• h. A gurgling sound heard in the stomach of varied causes, e.g., the wearing of a corset. (Gotta cool it on the corsets).

• i. Epidemic condition, probably neuromimetic (i.e., psychosomatic disorder), first noticed in 1935 in Calcutta. It involves a tingling sensation in one or both soles of the feet, especially the big toe, and often a sense of pressure in the head and trembling of the body. (If it wasn't India I'd say it sounded suspiciously like a hangover).

• j. Stinky breath (plain and simple).

• k. Sexual sadism and masochism.

• l. A variety of palmus (a convulsive tic), or jumping disease, prevalent in Siberia. It also attacks lumberjacks in Maine. (Go figure).

• m. Emission of semen during a very nice dream.

• n. Ability to hear best in a noisy environment.

• o. An odd waxy substance created during the decomposition of animal bodies, especially in human bodies buried in moist places, aka grave wax. (Another great argument for cremation).

• p. In Scottish jurisprudence, the nearest relative on the father's side of one determined to be insane, and appointed guardian of that person (good old chauvinistic Scotland).

• q. A South American plant whose toxic seed is rumored to destroy the hair of animals who consume it, kill sexual desire, and even cause extreme obesity. (You can also get all that from tweeting too much).

• r. endemic disorder of the Ainu of Japan characterized by a mental state that leads to the patient having attacks of a psychomotor nature caused by emotional shock (or something to that effect).

• s. Lack of self-control.

• t. There's a name for every teeny weeny body part in anatomy. This one is the central prominence of the upper border between the skin and the upper lip's mucous membrane that marks the distal end of the philtrum. (I'm sure you all know what a philtrum is. Here's a clue: It has nothing to do with cigarettes).

• u. One who believes in an ancient herbal doctrine that, if a plant resembles an organ or body part it can be used to treat that organ or body part.

• v. What nobody I know has: a feeling of complete peace and/or calmness of mind, and a detached serenity with clear thinking and consciousness.

• w. To yawn.

• x. Application of the mouth to the anus (not your mouth, of course, unless you happen to be unusually flexible from all those yoga classes or you're a dog or cat).

• y. Exudation from rocks during the hot season in some parts of India, utilized in Hindu medicine.

Answers: 1. o 2. f 3. p 4. d 5. e 6. x 7. g 8. v 9. a 10. h 11. b 12. r 13. i 14. q 15. l 16. m 17. j 18. n 19. c 20. t 21. u 22. y