VH1's Four-Part Series on Heavy Metal Plays it Safe

This article is a response to Jetlag Democracy's VH1 Hits Hard with Heavy: The Story of Metal. I am a metalhead through and through. I enjoy many of the bands listed in Jetlag's piece, but I have a bone to pick with not only the documentary in question, but also with VH1. VH1 started out as the "uncool" antithesis to MTV. It was the music channel for middle-aged women. Ever since MTV took a tailspin in quality (right around '97), VH1 has stepped up as a more music-oriented alternative to eMpTV for those without hundreds of channels at their disposal.

VH1 has never really been metal-friendly, but in the past few years, they have given more attention to the denigrated genre. I've been seeing more and more specials devoted to heavy metal, and while I find most of them to be lacking, I appreciate the effort on VH1's part to variegate their schedule. When I saw the adverts for Heavy: The Story of Metal, I got excited. My excitement was short-lived, as it didn't take long to realize that this documentary committed a crime that VH1 has been committing since its provenance.

Heavy covers countless bands that are not metal bands. It also skips over bands that were far more influential than the bands that made the cut. I'm mainly referring to "hair metal." Don't get me wrong; I loved Poison and Warrant as a youngster, but they are NOT metal. Neither is Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Slaughter, Twisted Sister, Winger, or Bon Jovi. These are hard rock bands, and while they wrote catchy songs, they're about as metallic as Michael Buble. Why not talk about real metal bands from the 80's that actually contributed something to the scene?

I would have loved to see segments on Death, Venom, Bathory, Testament, Kreator,

Sodom
, Mayhem, Exhorder, Morbid Angel, and Exodus. Most people don't know 80's metal outside of the big four - Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax. This is a direct result of VH1 regurgitating topics over and over again. How many times do we need to hear about the death of Cliff Burton? How many times do we need to hear about Dave Mustaine being kicked out of Metallica? How many times do we need to hear about Dee Snider fighting the good fight and mouthing off to Tipper Gore about parental advisory stickers?

And that's another thing. Every single show on VH1 that is even remotely linked to heavy metal has to mention the censorship hoopla that arose in 1985 thanks to the PMRC getting their chalky panties in a knot over suggestive lyrics and album covers. Isn't Snider tired of talking about this? He relays the same stories in every interview he does on the subject.

Dee
is a cool guy, but enough is enough. I'm also sick of hearing about Ozzy Osbourne beheading a bat, Alice Cooper tossing a chicken into the audience, and teenagers committing suicide while listening to Judas Priest songs. It's old hat. No, it's archaic toboggan. Archaic toboggan!

Last month, VH1 premiered a new documentary on heavy metal. It was great. Why was it great? Because VH1 didn't produce it. I'm referring to Metal: A Headbanger's Journey. It was fashioned by an actual metalhead and covers most of the bands that I listed above (the ones you haven't heard of). It anatomizes every subgenre out there. Floridian death metal, Norwegian black metal, thrash, power metal, classic metal, metalcore, grindcore…you name it, this doc examines it. Unfortunately, it, too, discusses the Dee Snider/PMRC debacle, but that's the only blemish that I could spot.

Metal: A Headbanger's Journey features interviews with everyone from Iron Maiden's Bruce Dickinson to the imposing Gaahl. Gaahl is the frontman for Gorgoroth, a Satanic black metal band. His scene is pure entertainment. He is asked about the philosophy that drives his band, and after ten seconds of awkward silence, he coldly replies, "Satan." I'd kill to see a VH1 "VJ" interview this guy! While it's nothing groundbreaking, Metal accomplishes more in 90 minutes than Heavy does in 240 minutes.

True metal will never get the mainstream recognition that it deserves. Credit VH1 for extending a handshake to metalheads the world over, but the next time they decide to have a "metal month," I can only hope that they turn the spotlight in the right direction.