Vice President Cheney Looks for a New Job

The Prince of Darkness, Dick Cheney, will soon no longer be our Vice President. He will be looking for new employment. Here is a list of eleven jobs that Dick Cheney may want to apply for:

(1) Funeral Director (Vice President Cheney should be an expert at this position. His actions during his tenure have brought about the deaths of thousands of people)
(2) Anger Management Therapist (Vice President Cheney has had to deal with the majority of Americans who are angry at the way he has managed his position)
(3) Security Guard (Let him be on the front line of any attack on our homeland)
(4) Corporate Director (He's managed to empty our government budget by giving to the rich and powerful. Now it is time to collect. Actually, Corporate stooge would be a more appropriate title)
(5) Arms Dealer (He can sell some of those weapons of mass destruction that are buried in the Iraqi desert)
(6) Vacuum Cleaner Salesman (He can finally do something constructive and vacuum up all the messes that he has created)
(7) Lion Tamer (He may not find any terrorists but he is sure to find acts of terror in the lions' den)
(8) Torture Expert (He can use his talents to tell our military what is torture and what is not torture through personal demonstration)
(9) Barber (He's had a lot of close shaves in managing not to be impeached)
(10)IRS Agent (He's arrogant, he bad, he's in his groove)
(11)Hunting Guide (Dick Cheney can show you how to shoot a deer or accidentally shoot a hunter)