Victoria Lindsay Beaten by Teens for Video: Is it the Parents' Fault?

Matt A. Maxx, Yahoo! Contributor Network
Apr 8, 2008 "Share your voice on Yahoo! websites. Start Here."

Victoria Lindsay 16, and was accused by six girlfriends of talking-trash on MySpace about them. Authorities in Lakeland, Florida, have arrested April Cooper, Brittini Hardcastle, Kayla Hassell, Britney Mayes, Cara Murphy, and Mercades Nichols on charges that they either beat Victoria Lindsay for 30 minutes or stood guard while filming the attack to be shown on the internet.

Victoria Lindsay suffered hearing loss in one ear and eye problems in one eye along with a concussion, according to the TampaBay Tribune

After the Tribune article, and many other articles like it on the internet today, there is a sea of comments from mob-mentality people who are expressing desires to see all of the attackers come to harm, and with comments about how bad the involved parents and grandparents are to have raised teenagers like the ones accused of beating Victoria Lindsay.

While this is a shocking story, it might not be completely fair to be judging parents and grandparents on the actions of their children while they are participating within a peer group activity. Teenagers react in groups to gain acceptance of other group members, it is their conscious choice to either follow your family teachings, or to follow their gang.

The term 'mob mentality' originates from animals taking on a leader's actions and functioning on them as their own reactions without a planned direction. People will follow leaders inside of groups in this same manner; such as on the Tribune discussion area or with the beating of Victoria Lindsay, they will ban together to hurt a suggested wrong-doer without realizing that the majority is running the wrong way.

Parents need to understand how their children react in growth socially at different age levels before being able to plan behavioral strategies to ensure that the children know how to handle different social situations properly before becoming cornered in them. Telling a teenager not to do something does not mean that they are going to listen to you if a bigger group is telling them that you do not know what you are talking about.

The fact is: Victoria Lindsay attacked the mob with her unkind MySpace postings, and the mob chose to defend against the first attack with a bigger attack against Victoria Lindsay and they went about it the wrong way. If the mob had acted against the attack as individuals, each taking their own private 5-minutes to weigh losing cheerleading and freedom if caught, some would have walked away.

I was a mother of two less-than-angelic teenage daughters, once they understood how to disappear into a bathroom to think about choices before following what all others were doing blindly, our lives all became easier. Teenagers and especially girl teenagers need to know that a bathroom is always available to get you out of trouble. Bathrooms are safe rooms for thinking, wasting time to avoid problems, and great for catching homeward bound flu-symptoms in.

Being a parent today is not easy, there really aren't any traditional punishment choices left that work; yelling is verbal abuse, hitting is assault, grounding sends the teen out of the window, and confiscated items are thought of as mandatory replacement items every few months anyway. Communication is the only weapon left in our bag-of-tricks. The teens need to know that consequence is given by two sources: parents and society.

Our teenagers today live in a very fast world; any punishment handed out must keep the same pace as their environment. In the Tribune article there was some amazement showing from the adults that a couple of the girls were wondering if they would get out of the juvenile facility in time for cheerleading practice. This illustrates my point. Punishments must be quick or you will lose the attention of your teenage audience.

If your teenager is yelling at you, instantly explain that what they are doing is verbal abuse and that they must stop. If your teenager is mad and slamming things around, instantly explain that this is destruction of personal property and it must stop. If your teenager hits another person, instantly explain that this is physical abuse, an illegal act, and have them explain to you what they would like you to do about it.

Keeping communications going and explaining wrongs in simple to understand terms as they are happening helps your child to recognize these behaviors in others when they are away from home. You are conditioning their mind to know that when threats of violence are happening, no matter who is making them that they must get out of there before a criminal act happens. Teens learn by example. Use your arguments to explain behaviors.

Teens are attempting to become adults; they have opinions that must be heard. It is totally fine to corner them into telling you what they would do about the wrong or crime that you just caught them participating in. You may be surprised at just how well this works during the stress of the moment. Without time to think of a lesser punishment, they will tell you what they would really do. Then, if they have made the decision themselves that the punishment is fair to fit the wrong, they will abide by their decision.

In the Tribune discussion there were those questioning the actions of the parents and grandparents who were assumed to be standing behind their teenager's violent actions with noncommittal responses to media questions. The public seemed to believe that the parents should join them in saying unkind things about the upset girls involved.

In my opinion, the parents making the noncommittal responses to questions, with some sounding like hope towards their children having a lesser part in the crimes than what the video showed was the right thing to do. All seven girls involved need to know that their parents will always be standing behind them offering support while they journey through the court system and counseling circuit.

When teenagers or young adults find themselves in trouble, it is important that the parents realize that their place is to remain on friendly terms with their child so that they can help where needed, no matter what the outside people are saying. It is far easier to ignore the crowd, than it is to deal with teenage suicide thoughts. An adult support system is needed for each girl, and the parents are reacting on to this need.

Somebody will probably be upset that I did not mention the two boys that the media is claiming to be involved in this Victoria Lindsay issue. The boys are claiming to have been at a local store during the attack times, and not involved with the actual crimes. Their parents are trying to get the store security tapes to back up their claims.

My heart goes out to all seven of the girls involved. It is unfortunate that we live in days where teenagers believe that sex, drugs, or violence will make them stars on the internet. Perhaps if all internet using adults had been offended by MySpace type of pages, and placed age-restrictions on those pages before now, none of this would have happened to Victoria Lindsay and the other girls.

Published by Matt A. Maxx

Matt is a full-time freelance writer for hire, specializing in advanced SEO techniques. Yahoo! Associated Content mentions include: 2008 Top 100 Writers, 2009 Top 1000 Writers, 2010 Top 1000 Writers and vari... View profile

Victoria Lindsay Beaten by Teens for Video: Is it the Parents' Fault?

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