Video Girl Alert, is Your Female Relative Addicted to Flashy Lifestyles?

Is your young female relative addicted to bling? Does she run to the guys who are wearing six and seven chains around their necks but ignore the guy who may be wearing a simple cross or have a naked neck? Does she only go for the guys who look like they haven't finished using the bathroom and rock sagging pants? Does she only want to hear music or hang out with guys that call her a bitch and a ho instead of a woman or a girl? Is she only attracted to the guys who call themselves niggas instead of men or brothas? Does she believe the only way to get a man is to show her assets instead of exercising her mind?

Your relative may just have the video girl itis. So how do you teach her that she doesn't have to go for the guy trying way too hard to look like a gangsta rapper to find someone she likes?

Tip One:

Stop blaming the guy for this girl's choices in men. He's going to be him regardless, and dogging him out will only make her more defensive. Instead of insulting him, try asking her what it is she likes about him besides his physical appearance. You may find out that they both have the same political or cultural beliefs. They may connect through music. He may be putting on a phasod to appease his friends, and although you may not respect him for not trying to be an individual instead of being cool, remember your own teenage years. Were you trying to be cool too? Did you monitor the "in" fashion?

Tip Two:

Show her other professionals who also have the same financial success without all the extra materialistic gear. If the only men she's seen who have succeeded are rappers, then what would make her think anybody else is? Make sure to introduce her to independent women who are making their own money without freeloading from a guy, but introduce her to women who aren't blowing their money like the stunters she already knows. There is a massive difference in behavior between people with old money and those with new money. Those with old money can be found in jeans and a button-down shirt and no name brand jewelry minus a watch or bracelet. New money wears as much bling as possible because new money is elated to finally have these types of luxuries.

Tip Three:

Make her go to other locations besides parties, sneaking into nightclubs and sitting in front of a television watching music videos. Help her to expand her mind. Make her spend a day in the library learning about hip hop pioneers. Take her to a newspaper or magazine location where she can meet writers, editors and publicists who also enjoy the music genre that she does. Give her a tour of a prison to show her where some of the guys who are really living out the lifestyle ended up. Take her to a spoken word café where men who love music, hip hop and poetry all congregate together in a positive manner. Invite her to restaurants and organizations where guys who like wearing hip hop gear use their energy for positive causes. Everybody rocking hip hop gear is not necessarily no good no matter how much you hate sagging pants, gold and platinum teeth, and white tees. Fashion does not equal lifestyle or predict the future. Fashion evolves just like experience.

Tip Four:

Ask her if she wouldn't mind you fixing her up with someone you like that is a happy medium between the two. Do not fix her up with some guy that you know she is not physically or mentally attracted to. You wouldn't want to date someone you weren't into so why should she? Ask your own friends about their sons, godsons, grandsons, cousins and friends. If she likes him, she may be more likely to respect your opinion on her dating choices.

Tip Five:

If your female relative is usually a pretty intelligent person when she's not around him, ask her to test out the guy she likes. Tell her to be fully dressed and hold an intelligent conversation with him, and see if he still likes her without talking about music, bling and other superficial topics. If he's instantly bored, blows her off and would rather your female relative to put up the same phasod that he's allegedly put up, she'll know he doesn't like her as a person. Explain to her why it's necessary to move on. If she would rather put up the phasod, have a sit-down conversation with her and ask what is it about herself that she doesn't like because if she can't even be herself around a guy, he won't know who he's dating either.