Villa Pizza in San Francisco, California: A Restaurant Review

Ever see that movie from a few years ago called "Waiting"? Don't worry if you haven't, it wasn't very good or very popular, and you aren't missing much of anything. I only bring it up because, in spite of Villa Pizza not being a sit-down diner type restaurant, the staff totally gives off the vibe of that movie. If you recall from the movie what went down in the kitchen away from the eyes of the paying customers, you'll probably agree with me that this is very much not a good feeling to have.

Villa Pizza is basically a quick-serve Italian restaurant in the food court area of the Westfield Mall. It's a quick walk from the Powell BART and MUNI station through the attached underground mall entrance, but that's about the best thing I can honestly say about it.

Most of the trade here is in ready-made pizza slices. San Francisco already has a pretty high general standard for pizza prices, but they one-up even that by asking $3.50 for a cheese slice, $4.00 for one topping, and $4.50 for various combinations. The slices are not particularly big, nor are they at all that good. I don't mind paying these sorts of prices once in a while if I'm getting some really special, well-made pizza, or maybe something exotic for a topping like grilled chicken. But for greasy, lukewarm pepperoni that is overly drippy, salty and mediocre at absolute best? A resounding "no thanks."

They have various dinners at about ten dollars each - baked ziti, spaghetti with or without meatballs, lasagna, baked ziti, chicken parmesan with pasta, and stromboli. I can't give you much of a report on these because there's no way I'm spending ten bucks in a recession on mall fast food, particularly mall fast food that has already proven itself highly questionable to me by way of their pizza slices. If someone want to comp me a dinner here I'll be happy to make an addendum to the review. ProTip: I probably won't like it.

The reason I say that this is the worst pizza place in San Francisco is not just the quality - which is bad but not the worst I've ever had in the city - but the combination of the low quality with the ridiculous prices and the hella hella hella slouchin' staff (HELLA, dog, ya feel me?) Blondie's over across the street offers about equally crappy pizza at a lower price, but with a higher hobo per square inch ratio. If you're not afraid of a little crackheadedness, venture down to 6th and Market, swing a left for a couple blocks and try out Mythic Pizza instead. It isn't the greatest but it's a damn sight better than anything near Union Square and at a much better price.