Violence Against Women by Women: A Personal Prose

I look young for my age; hold your applause please.

This genetic trick has proven to be a real pain in the ass and constantly puts me in the middle of young female hostility that I find myself unprepared for.

Physical violence seems to be the language of young girls and it appears to permeate every facet of their lives; they're violent in ways and in situations that quite simply do not warrant it, for example at the mall, in the grocery store, in lines, at the movie theatre. They transform the most mundane activities of daily living into potential brawls and because these females usually attack the pretty girl, I end up being the one they come after. Pretty is a dime a dozen so there's no glory or even originality in being cute but, in this age of obsession with physical appearance, it seems females will kill each other to destroy another girls beauty.

Problem is, I have not been a girl in almost two decades but still look like I'm in high school; don't ask me what my secret is because I would have to kill you.

Let me site a recent example:

While buying stamps at the mall; a revolutionary act, I know. I rounded the corner looking down and rummaging through my purse for my keys and sun glasses, when it felt like a truck slammed into me. My first instinct was to apologize, which I did and when I looked up I saw a scrawny, over made up girl giving me the look of death; her response to my apology was an eye roll and a snort. Baffled I made my way to the door, stopped and went back to where this girl stood with her BFF and confronted her.

I explained that when someone accidentally bumps into you and apologizes you should be nice and apologize as well. She was clearly shocked and said she thought I saw her and slammed into her on purpose; this was so baffling to me, the only response that came to me was: "I'm too old to be walking into you on purpose".

"You're not old! But, whatever, okay you didn't see me and I should've accepted your apology. Whatever."

"Another thing", I said to her as I opened my winter coat and revealed my swollen belly, "You shoved a pregnant woman. I hope you feel good about that."

Her face drained of its' color, I waited a moment and then walked away; I imagine she lives with daily hostility from other girls her own age and has learned to kill or be killed which ultimately proves my point: women are kept as second class citizens not just by men but by other women.

We are our own worst enemies.

I had a similar incident happen at the grocery store a few weeks ago with another high school aged girl who blocked my path and wouldn't let me pass, at the movie theatre where a group of high schools girls sat behind me and kicked my seat until I got up and moved to another section of the theatre and grown women behave no differently. Nurses and the receptionist at my doctors office who thinks my husband is cute, treats me like shit and humiliates me with announcements to the entire waiting room about the status of my urine samples.

These incidents are merely part of a lifetime landscape of similar female treachery, betrayal and hostility by other women.

Two females at a company I worked for had to be reprimanded by Human Resources for making threats to harm me because I was the top salesperson on the team, another company was forced to transfer me to another team after four women banded together to make my life a living hell because I consistently scored the highest on testing; to my horror the supervisor repeatedly announced that I had 'done it again' and that same supervisor was the one who had to facilitate the transfer because they were making the situation unbearable for all of us.

It's a daily barrage of hostility from women at ever turn of the road and as a result I now understand why women will never rule the world and will never be safe because it's women who are the primary problem.

Next month marks the tenth anniversary of V-Day, a group dedicated to ending violence against women with such luminary supporters as Salma Hayek and Oprah Winfrey. V-Day was founded by Eve Ensler who also created the Vagina Monologues and dedicates her life to women's causes. Like virtually every other group like it, the V-Day organization focuses primarily on preventing male violence against women but, it's been my experience that women harm other women more than men ever could.

Have you had similar experiences?

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