Virginia School Shooting Trauma

There is no doubt that we live in a violent, uncertain world. The latest campus shootings in Virginia are another tragic example of how much pain and suffering can be inflicted in a few short moments.

As adults, we can reflect on the tragedy and mourn for the victims and their families with a healthy compassion. We may take steps to ensure that our children's schools are as safe as possible. We may discuss safety plans with our spouses and friends. Our children, however, may not know how to deal with the images and news coming at them.

Be aware of the news as coverage escalates on the television and radio, especially when children are present. You may not think they are listening, but kids can be extremely perceptive. They may not let on that they're listening, but don't assume that they aren't. It may be a good idea to turn the TV and radio off until the huge influx of coverage has lessened.

Reassure your child. Be honest with them if they have questions, but don't provide any gruesome details. As with any sensitive subject, talk to them as age-appropriate. After 9-11, my preschooler needed a lot of hugs and time together as a family. Our teenager also needed reassuring, so we talked to him about domestic and international security. Both kids felt reassured, and we were able to resume our lives without too many road bumps. Whatever your child's age, give them ample opportunity to express themselves in a variety of ways. They may talk it out, write a story, or act out their emotions. Again, reassure them that you love them, and that you are doing everything in your power to protect them.

Many children want to help, especially when they hear that victims are young. Consider praying together as a family for the victims and their families, sending a sympathy card, or contributing to a memorial fund. It's important, however, not to dwell on the events too long, as this may intensify your child's fears.

Those children living closer to the events might have more emotions regarding the incidents than those living farther away. (News coverage will also most likely be more intense locally.) Some schools set up crisis teams which are there to help both parents and children deal with their on-going fears, and safety issues. Don't be afraid to use them.

If you find your child is having continuing problems dealing with the school shooting news, consider getting help. You may also want to find out how you can better respond to your child's fears. Contact a school guidance counselor, a priest/pastor/rabbi, or a psychologist. On-line resources, such as Keep Schools Safe, offer plenty of ideas for parents, schools, and students.