Virginia Tech Facebook Group: No Place to Judge

In April, I was in the same emotional state as many other college students. I felt shocked and saddened by the shootings at Virginia Tech. I was worried the same thing could happen on my campus; so much that I even became paranoid during class. What if a shooter burst in at any moment and started shooting up the class? I had always thought of my campus as a safe one, but after this, it seemed like no college was safe.

So what did I do about it? I joined a Facebook group.

I joined two VT tribute groups actually: one was for students at my school who wanted to express sympathy to the school, and another for students all around the world. This group was the fastest growing group on Facebook and went by the name of "A tribute to those who passed at the Virginia Tech shootings."

At first, I was in disbelief that such a group was growing so fast. Who knew that we could all come together to mourn the students lost? Everyone was expressing their thoughts by writing poems, making videos, or posting meaningful song lyrics. Reading about the concerns people had for the Hokies was an amazing experience and I kept checking the group for more discussion topics and wall posts.

Now, two months later, I feel as though this group has gone downhill. There are many arguments over whether or not the shooter deserves to be counted in the victims' list, comparisons to other tragedies in the world, and even spammers pushing their non related groups. What bothers me the most though, is the members still left criticizing the 5,000 or more people that removed themselves from the group.

This anger started last month when some people decided to complain about those who were left in the group and who had resigned. Topics such as: "Fewer members! What is this?" littered the discussion board and wall posts expressed disbelief that anyone could ever leave this group. To me, that strayed away from the original purpose of the group and furthermore, I found it offensive that anyone would consider judging someone based on what groups they were and weren't in on Facebook.

As I read the wall, I couldn't believe what some were saying. Here is just a small sample:

"Come on this is pathetic like tons of people joined at the beginning, but just because they think the 'popularity' of supporting VT has died away, so many are leaving this group. Every day I see that like about a thousand people have left this group! I mean seriously, don't join just because your friends did."

"I really have no respect for the people that leave this group. This isn't a fad, it's a memorial."

"If people aren't going to stay in the group.. Then don't join.. I'm not saying these people don't care, but they're some trend whores for sure."

"1,953 Fewer Members, 4 Board Topics, 49 Wall Posts"
"Why would that many people leave a group like this? That's just rude, and disrespectful, as long as I have a Facebook account, I will be a member of this group."

Then of course, there were the people talking about how they would forever be in the group. That's great and all but in my opinion, joining a Facebook group, no matter whether it's just for fun, for a political cause, or in this case, a memorial does not mean you are doing a good deed. Likewise, leaving a group does not make you a person who doesn't care. Nothing on Facebook matters! Why don't these posters realize that?

Well thank goodness these people understand where I'm coming from:

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO LEAVE THIS GROUP! THIS GROUP ISN'T FOR THEM IT'S FOR THE REMEMBERENCE OF VIRGINIA TECH.
So please, for goodness sakes, stop worrying about everyone who decides it's their time to leave the group. End of discussion on this topic. MOVE ON."

"Complaining about people who want to leave is selfish. If you don't want to leave, that's great. But don't judge others for feeling it's their time to leave."

"Just because you left a Facebook group doesn't mean you no longer care or remember. Please people realize this is only a Facebook group. It's not going to bring anyone back or change what happened."

Obviously my outrage over the first set of statements made caused me to leave the group. So I am now among the few thousand others being criticized for leaving even though no one knows me personally.

I believed that some people took this way too personally. Who are they to decide who cares more, who stays in the group, who does and who doesn't wear orange and maroon to support VT? Just because someone doesn't wear the VT colors or leaves an Internet group doesn't mean they don't care. As long as they came and showed support in some way, that's all that should matter.

Furthermore, if we are sitting around arguing over what happens on social networking sites, we are really losing touch with reality. You don't see news stories about people chastising others for not caring about VT, do you? I have only witnessed that kind of behavior in the Internet world, which says a lot for some of the people who populate these sites. It is never a good thing to draw conclusions about someone's life when you don't know them in real life. Why would you do that online?

Overall, I feel that if the Facebook group had stayed true to its original intentions, it would still be on my original list of groups today. However, due to people being too concerned with others' actions, I felt it necessary to leave. I shouldn't have to do that. Even so, the people who are angry at others for leaving should perhaps find a different channel for their anger; rather than taking it out on those who choose to move on.