Virginity: Is Remaining Pure a Thing of the Past?

Years ago it was believed that women should remain virgins until marriage. Why this rule of thumb only applied to women is one of the double standards I'll never understand. But these days not many people who head down the aisle are virgins as the pure, white attire has been known to suggest. Have the Christian morals of no sex before marriage vanished or are people just living by their own morals instead?

The truth of the matter is, human sexuality is a great gift. Although throughout the years many would agree that its intended purposes have been corrupted, it was created for good. Biblical views of sex intend it to be shared between a married couple with a strong emphasis on commitment, faithfulness, and reproduction. However, over the years sex has become more about fulfilling lustful desires. Is there anything wrong with fulfilling one's sexual urges before you are married? Well it depends on who you ask. Many will say no, not at all. They want to test the waters and fulfill their fantasies before they are ready to settle down with that one person. Others believe that abstaining from sex until marriage is the key to building long lasting and intimate relationships.

The term used to describe the act of having sex before marriage is fornication. If we look at the world today, we see that many people are fornicators. There are many children being born out of wedlock and many people engaging in various sexual activities with multiple partners. They don't see the big deal about waiting until marriage to have sex. A friend of mine who has had sex with multiple partners now expresses that she wishes she was still a virgin because her reasons for having sex were seldom love and commitment; instead it was just a time to have fun and explore. Other friends of mine who are adult virgins say they are waiting until marriage because they don't believe in sharing their bodies with just anyone. Many of them have strong Christian beliefs which add to their decision to remain virgins. Waiting until marriage to have sex expresses a strong level of emotional commitment. When two people join together to have sex, their two bodies become one. Many people are becoming one with people they barely know. You hear people bragging about their one night stands or how many people they have slept with so far.

It is no surprise that we all have sexual desires and temptations. For those who are able to control those sexual urges until they are married, requires a strong level of discipline, strength, character, and commitment. I recall a conversation I had with a friend of mine back in high school. He said he didn't see how anyone could make it through high school without having had sex. If they made it to college without having sex then they must be some kind of saint. This same friend got his girlfriend pregnant during our junior year in high school. Although he didn't regret having sex, he wished he had been more careful.

Majority of the sexually active people I talk to admit to being sexually active to fulfill their sexual urges. Others say they'd rather have all their fun now before they are stuck with one person for the rest of their lives. That's not a good way to look at marriage-being stuck to one person. Marriage can be a beautiful thing and sex within a marriage doesn't have to be boring and mundane. That's part of the communication you must have with your partner.

In addition to unplanned pregnancies, sex before marriage puts you at a greater risk for contracting STDs. This is not to say that you can't contract an STD from a cheating spouse because we all know that you can. However, when you have multiple sex partners, when you have sex with them it's like having sex with everyone they've had sex with and so on. Some people look at sex like a game, seeing how much they can score before they're ready to settle down. I've even ran into a few that believe something must be wrong with adult virgins who are saving themselves for marriage. I guess it's often assumed that most single adults are having sex.

There are some men and women who will respect your decision to abstain from sex until marriage. To do such a thing speaks volumes about your character and shows people that you're not like everyone else. Even if your religious beliefs don't stress over waiting until you're married to have sex, it is still an individual choice that you can make. When you share your body with someone, make sure you do it for the right reasons. We all face temptations but we don't have to give into them all. Deciding to abstain from sex until marriage is a spiritual battle as well as a fleshy battle. As the saying goes, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."