Virtual Vs. Real-life Friends: is There a Difference?

In this day and age, much of our time is spent on the internet searching for information, seeking advice, or simply being entertained. Thousands of online groups of people with similar interests have formed. These groups meet daily in chat rooms, bulletin boards, and via email. Bonds can form among members of online groups and true friendships can evolve between people who have never physically met.

My first experience with an online group of friends was when I began running. I found a bulletin board and began posting questions in the hopes that the answers would help me with technical aspects of my running. What I found instead surprised me. In addition to advice, I was also given encouragement and support. This virtual group of people helped me train for my first marathon without ever having run one step with me. By the time the marathon came, I counted many of the group members as friends and enjoyed crossing the finish line with three of them.

So, is it really possible to form friendships online? Why can we feel so close to people we have never met? Why was I embarrassed to tell people in my everyday life that I had so many virtual friends? I have heard of many people meeting online and falling in love, but surely that was an oddity, right? Not necessarily.

Being online gives people the opportunity to be more open because of the anonymity it affords. Opinions can be more freely expressed. Secrets can be shared without the fear that someone you work with or someone in your family will find out. You can rant about your child's or husband's latest antics safely. And if you begin to feel uncomfortable, you can leave virtual groups as easily as you joined them.

I am now a member of three virtual groups whose members have children the same ages as mine. I went through my pregnancies with these women and we are now sharing all the milestones new parents enjoy watching their children accomplish. We have shared worries and triumphs as well as recipes and a few good jokes. One of my groups recently lost a member. A beautiful, vibrant 25 year old woman went into labor and died just after her son was born. After celebrating her pregnancy for 9 months, we all mourned her loss as if she were a family member.

Forming relationships online is becoming quite common. Particularly when going through issues such as infertility, illness, the death of a loved one, or addiction, it is good to have others that have similar experiences can share in your struggles. Belonging to virtual groups of people with similar interests such as gardening, sewing, or writing can keep you inspired to continue your craft. Real friendships can form this way and are a bonus.

Granted, it is probably not healthy to have all of your friendships be with people online. There is a lot to be said for meeting up with a friend for a shopping trip or a cup of coffee. However, online friends can often fill a void. In fact, I no longer call my online friends my online friends. They are simply my friends.