Voices in the Head: Silencing the Inner Critic

Recently, a friend of mine casually commented that if she told "them" about the voices in her head "they" would surely think she was crazy. This, of course, set off a rather animated conversation with the voices in my head. You know the voices I'm talking about. Not the interfering outside voices that invade the minds of the mentally ill, but those inner voices that seem well meaning and helpful as they remind us of our limitations and warn us of impending danger. Mine yelled "Danger! Danger, Will Robinson! Crazy person ahead," - that is until I quieted the voice and listened to what she had to say.

Inner voices can warn us of impending danger or bring us moments of inspiration, but not all inner voices are created equal. Some, of course, build us up and alert us to opportunities and actions that do indeed improve our lives. We often refer to this inner voice as intuition or some may even prefer to call it the voice of God. The bottom line is, this inner voice serves us well and improves the quality of our lives. But all too often, the loudest inner voice is what Clinical Psychologist Lisa Firestone, PhD refers to as the "critical inner voice" in her article Steps to Overcoming Your Critical Inner Voice.

According to Dr. Firestone, the critical inner voice is "a well-integrated pattern of negative thoughts toward one's self and others that is at the root of an individual's maladaptive behavior." Although you may not actually hear this voice, it permeates your thoughts and beliefs limiting your ability to achieve life goals and live a happy productive life. These beliefs and thoughts have developed over years - or decades - based on past experience and the influence of those around you.

Norman Vincent Peale, long time pastor, founder of the Guidepost Magazine and author of countless books, such as The Power of Positive Thinking, addresses negative self-talk in his work. Both Peale and Firestone recommend addressing the negative thoughts and statements by countering them with the positive as the first step in achieving your life goals and finding happiness in life.

Listen to the voice within

Begin by listening to the messages you send yourself everyday. If you are in the habit of thinking (or verbalizing) that you aren't smart enough, motivated enough or talented enough to reach your goals, you aren't alone. These self-defeating thoughts plague the minds of countless Americans every day. You may be so comfortable with them that you don't even notice them. To bring these thoughts to life, try putting them into the second person in the form of "you" statements. When you catch yourself thinking, "I'm too old to do that" or "I'm not smart enough to go back to school," turn it around. Suddenly hearing "You are too old to accomplish your goals" or "You are not smart enough to go to college." May be all it takes for you to suddenly recognize your own negative thoughts.

Just Say no to your inner critic

You do not need to obey your inner critic. Let me say it again. You need not obey your inner critic. Sometimes we become so accustomed to obeying the critic within that we forget that we have a choice. Turn those thoughts around and stand strong, instead. Tell yourself "I have many productive years to accomplish my goals" or " I have a clear sharp mind that will serve me well in school."

Align you actions with your thoughts

Once you learn to identify self-defeating talk from your inner critic, and can turn those statements around to the positive, its time for action. Act on the positive statements with confidence. It may be difficult at first, but with practice, saying no to old thoughts and acting on the new thoughts becomes easier.

Quelling your inner critic takes time and practice, but don't get discouraged. Those negative thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself and your life has taken years to develop and will take time to conquer. The important thing is to learn to recognize them when they come and turn them around to the positive. Only then can you take action to improve the quality of your life.