Wacky Stories of 2008

The end of 2008 is fast approaching. With most of the focus on the Presidential Election and the global economic crisis chances are you missed some of the true highlights of the year. I am referring to the wacky and weird news stories of 2008, the ones that make us say "Doh!" and the ones that leave us shaking our heads. Just in case you've missed the wacky stories of the year, here are twelve of some the wackiest, weirdest, and down right silly news stories of 2008.

December

Elizabeth (Lizzy) Frisinger

December's early pick has a big "OUCH!" factor all over it. Lizzy is in the internet limelight for a slight of the text message. It seems Lizzy mistakenly told Daddy that she just lost her virginity and that it was "gr8." This wacky tale of teenage angst was reported on The Inquister and a snap shot of the damaging text is available on the web as well. Poor girl, make the best of it.

November

Lesbian sex might be kinky, but it doesn't create baby polar bears

I almost dismissed this wacky article found on The Inquisiter, but Duncan Riley's November 27^th article with it's attention grabbing headline is hilarious. Mr. Riley details the folly of a Japanese zoo's efforts to mate two polar bears. I guess common sense and zoology don't quite mix.

October

Britain has more rats than people

A truly bizarre and wacky study conducted in London indicates that Brits are out populated by rats. The town of York has a 208% increase in the rat population annually. Since the release of this report the request for pest control has risen in England. Wow, I guess bunnies aren't the only animals that reproduce frequently.

September

Unlucky Thief Gets Impaled

A man robbing a museum doesn't make a grand escape. This unfortunate thief ends up impaled on a steel post. His screams rang through the museum and someone called 911 to come to his aid. The steel post which impaled him by his backside, damaged his rectum and intestines. Maybe he should have thought twice before attempting this wacky heist.

August

Senator Suing God Urges Judge to Proceed

Associated Press writer, Josh Funk found one the wackiest and possibly scariest news stories to write on. Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers urges a Judge to proceed with his lawsuit against God. The lawsuit was close to being dismissed because the Senator had not given notice to God about the injunction being filed against Him. This is funny to see a lawsuit being brought against the deity of a faith, but what is scary is that the courts have taken this seriously. If allowed to go through, exactly what kind of restitution does the Senator expect to get from this lawsuit?

July

Mercedes-climbing goat, dog picked up by cops

Oh my goodness! This is the wacky yet adorable story of a goat, dog, and a Mercedes Benz frolicking on the road. Sadly this tale of "kids" at play ended with one having a messed up paint job, another arrested, and a third turning themselves in. Oh the humanity?

June

Enema of the state: Russian spa unveils monument to colon cleansing

Ode to a Russian bronze enema, is the wackiness that occurred in Russia this June. The Mashuk-Akva Term spa unveiled a monument to the enema on June 18^th. The bronze syringe bulb is shown being lifted by three cherub-like angel figures. Even if the site of this display were not wacky enough, a banner in front of the spa read, "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas". If nothing else we now know that Russians take enemas seriously.

May

Naperville plagiarism scandal deepens

The headline seems pretty normal, but this wacky story is a smirk producer. Blogged and displayed on Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird, this plagiarism scandal was a big deal for the Naperville Sun. A high school Valedictorian was found to have plagiarized their graduation speech and was reprimanded for it by the principal. Wait just a gosh-darned minute, Mr. Principal also is a plagiarist and subsequently resigned when it was found out. Maybe the Valedictorian felt validated for plagiarizing their speech, heck the principal does it.

April

£50 For A Cup Of Coffee

I must say that there may need to be CA, Coffee Anonymous programs created if ones coffee addiction gets to this point. This signature roast is a blend of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and Kopi Luwak. This blend is hand roasted for 12 minutes to ensure the best cup of coffee is made. Maybe this slow roast is what justifies the steep price or could it be that Kopi Luwak is a bean picked out of cat droppings? Well if Kopi Luwak is trendy enough to appear on Oprah then most will buy it, wacky or not.

March

Big breasts win verdict for Japanese pin-up, Serena Kozakura

Evidently being busty can win your court case for you. At least for Serena Kozakura, who was on trial for vandalism. Serena was found not guilty after her attorneys proved that the hole with which she was accused of entering through was too small for her to fit through due to her large breast. Another wacky case of if it doesn't fit... you know the rest.

February

Policemen To Learn Ballet

A Romanian town enrolled its traffic officers to take ballet lessons this wacky February tale. Evidently, grace and poise is needed. I wonder if this town will have the musical score from The Nutcracker playing to aid them while directing Christmas traffic?

January

Orem Man Reports Marijuana Stolen

A truly stellar way to begin the New Year: reporting the theft of your illegal drugs! Yet it gets even better, the stolen drugs were set aside for distribution. Not a very smart drug dealer. Maybe I am being harsh, this wacky 18-year old may not have been aware that Marijuana and the distribution of it were illegal. Hey, it is a possibility...

Well there you have it. From ballerina police officers to teenage mishaps, 2008 offered a wide variety of wackiness to tickle the funny bone or make you slap your forehead. If these stories have peaked your curiosity browse the web for more wacky tales. Always remember laughter is a stress reliever so get your dose of it today!

Happy New Year!