Waiting

It was intense boredom. How else could you describe it? Most of the time we weren't doing anything. We were just sitting around. But, we were sitting around, waiting. Each one of us knew that when our platoon was called into action that we could die. We sat around in the barracks, listening to our music, talking, playing cards, drinking, maybe even smoking a little dope.
Oh yeah, the dope. Didn't we hear enough about that. Journalists coming over weren't just reporting back to the States about us, they were reporting to us about the States. We got it. Our war wasn't a popular one. For those who were drafted they didn't much care. But for those of us who chose to enlist, well, that was different. See, a lot of us had dads who fought in World War II, and there were a lot of us who had grandfathers who fought in World War I. Some had families who had family members who had fought in every war that America had been a part of back to the War of Independence. Wasn't that something.

For us who had a history of war, we just thought we were doing our patriotic duty. We didn't like war. In fact, almost everybody hated it. Some people coming in thought it was glamorous, nobody did going out. But it wasn't about liking war or not. It wasn't even about whether we wanted people to be in favor of this particular war. But, we didn't expect that people would turn on us. We were just doing what was right. At least, so we thought.

Anyway, what was it? Oh yeah, intense boredom. That's really what it was. We didn't have much to do. But, we were anxious. We all knew we might only have a few days to live. Can you imagine that? Having nothing to do? But thinking that you might die at any moment? It was the most anxious feeling. Anybody who knows that feeling, and doesn't have an enemy he can look in the eye, would understand why we took to the escapes. Why we had the hookers. Why we had the drugs. God, that was the only way we could forget about it. Or, at least, numb the anxiety. Tonight is a rough one. No substances. Tomorrow we go out. Gotta be clean and no hangovers. I don't know if this is the last night I'll ever sleep in a bed. I don't know if I'll sleep tonight at all.