Waiting Until You Are 35 to Get Married

Waiting until you are 35 to get married might seem on the face of it to be too much of a good thing. Sure lots of people wait a few years after leaving high school, or after they turn 21 or even after they graduate from college to settle down and get married but isn't waiting until you are 35 a little bit on the depressing side? Perhaps a combination of statistics and reasoning might convince you that waiting until you are 35 to get married isn't such a bad idea after all.

The Statistics . Waiting until you are 35 to get married is a position some men and women take to more now than ever before because of the rather fearful statistics that are being recorded about marriage in the United States. Popular television host Dr. Phil has shared statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics that claim that 60% of marriages that take place between couples in what one might consider to be the prime marriage age, between 20-25, end in divorce. For women who get married at age 25 or older 50% end up getting divorced.

These negative statistics about marriage have pushed the median age for marriage up for both men and women over the last century. According to statistics shared on the Wise Geek website, in 1900 the average age at which men got married was 25.9 years and while women married at an average of 22 years. Today's average marriage ages have shifted upward to 27 years for women and 29 for men according to Bride Magazine. The indication is that both men and women are somewhat more reluctant to get married now than a century ago. And maybe that's not such a bad thing.

The Reasoning. When deciding whether waiting until you are 35 to get married is a good idea or not there is more to look at then just the cold statistics. There is also some logic to consider.

First stretching your dating career out a few more years gives you time to really sort out all the possibilities. If you have discovered that dating is really a chance to weed out the qualities and characteristics that you like and dislike in a person then why not give more dating a thumbs up. The longer you date and the greater the variety of people you date, the more likelihood there is that you will escape lots of bad choices and begin to really hone in on the kind of person who can make you happy and who you can make happy in return for a lifetime.

Waiting until you are 35 to get married means that you are probably going to be making that key decision at a time that closely coincides with aspects of your personal development. For example by 35 you are probably going to have arrived at a pivotal point in your professional life. You are more likely to have done some traveling, tried a variety of jobs, have reached a commendable level of income and have completed all the advanced degree work or training needed for your career. At 35 you don't have a lot of molding left to do in terms of how you will spend the rest of your working life. You have become for better or worse a plumber, an electrician, a teacher, a professional soldier, a lawyer, a realtor or any one of a hundred other types of job holders. You are in a position financially to move to the next level of sharing this established life with someone else.

Chances are that waiting until you are 35 before getting married also gives you plenty of time to mature. Year by year you peel off some of the less mature and usually less appealing aspects of your personality. You have mellowed a great deal. Your temper has been checked. You act for the most part like an adult. You have become more dignified and more rational than you were even 5 years ago. Pettiness, jealouosy, selfishness, laziness have at least reduced if not totally discarded. You have prioritized your living and you know better than before what is important in a lifelong partner. You have gained from your own experiences along the way and you have also benefit ted from the mistakes of your friends. At 35 you are perhaps looking for someone quite different to share the rest of your life with you than you were 5, 10 or 15 years ago. You have grown up and you may at last be ready for a grown up relationship.

Finally there is no reason to find the idea of waiting until you are 35 or for that matter 36, 37 or beyond before getting married depressing. Both statistics and reason point to the reality that though physically we may be equipped to be married when we are teens there is far more to a successful marriage then the ability to consummate the vow. If you are a romantic and believe that there is someone out there meant for you, waiting until you find that person, at 35 or beyond has a lot to be said for it.

Sources: www.drphil.com ,
www.wisegeek.com