Waiting a Year to Start Kindergarten

Starting kindergarten should be a wonderful and exciting time not only for a child, but the parents as well. The newborn who became a toddler who became this "little person" is now ready to embark on one of life's greatest adventures. Yet, too often, parents find this stressful, questioning and second-guessing if the time is right. You see the helpless creature you love most and struggle with making the best decision. Are they ready? What should you do?

For starters, relax and realize you are not the first experiencing this uncertainty. If you find yourself worked up, what message might your reaction be sending? Remember, your behavior and emotional responses can do more to affect your child than anything you might ever say. They want to please you and if you get so blatantly worried, it can suggest that somehow they are incapable and have done something wrong.

Next, talk to those you respect, such as pre-school and kindergarten (who are often overlooked) teachers, your pediatrician, and others with knowledge of child development. Of note, other parents and "former" parents, known also as grandparents, may prove to be your most invaluable resource. Sure, you will not agree with every perspective, but you will find insights you likely had not considered. For instance, a pre-school director's observation that in her 30 years in adolescent education, she had never seen a child "slip through the cracks" at a particular school being considered for kindergarten helped the parents decide. "If they think he is ready, he is" became the deciding factor in what was the right decision for their child.

After listening to those you trust, consider how more parents today are holding their children back a school year - something you may have uncovered when talking particularly to the teachers. In other words, if your child's birthday is near the cut-off, you might need to add an additional six to twelve months to the difference in age with many classmates. Another factor is that girls tend to mature earlier than boys.

Finally, no matter how brilliant you may think your child, the ability to handle the school curriculum is NOT as important as their ability to develop socially. Many a smart child has endured years of morning stomachaches and heart-wrenching loneliness because they were just not ready to interact at the same age level of those in their class. Too much focus on the child being bored with pre-school work if waiting another year has often overshadowed the benefits of socially developing within one's age appropriate peer group. If your child is truly a savant, surely you will know. Even then, do know Einstein was considered by some to be challenged at an early age, perhaps a result of his shy nature.

So again, relax. You know your child and will make the right decision. If you are still unsure, waiting an extra year, the gift of time as it is often called, is a legitimate option. In referring to waiting another year, a former school board member, parent and grandfather put it best: "In all my years, I have had parents say they wished they had waited, but I have never heard one who waited say they wished they hadn't". - Authored by a Bow Tie Guy