Walk

I like to drive to other peoples neighbourhoods and walk through the leaf lined streets and feel the cold autumn air on my face. I have always loved to travel and wander through the worlds of others, just walk and be in their presence. Travelling to many countries around the world, I reject the tourist sites and pretty displays for the foreigners and go to the small collection of houses and homes and families and walk for hours, looking here and there and somehow I feel less alone in this world. I don't like interacting with the locals or exchanging greetings, I prefer to be left to my walking meditation on these spiritual quests but, I don't have the kind of heart that can spurn a hello from a well meaning retiree or stay at home mom. I go to their neighbourhoods to be alone so that I may ponder and be with the Holy and remember that human darkness does not soil the Spirit, that there is a place different from the one I am in now, a place that is untouched by the perversion of daily living.
After a painful break up while travelling in Asia, nights were my walking time; I hop on the subway and get off at random stops and walk for hours, looking at the life and the tacky neon lights that always made me smile. Immersing myself in the bustle going on around me, I would be lost in the ether for hours and lifetimes but, salvation always came because by midnight I knew another day would be delivered and another beginning would arrive.
A million years after that time, I found myself living in a small community I adored, which was entirely surprising to me and those who know of me, I am the big city girl but, I fell head over heels in love with a small hamlet away from the modern hate and greed consuming this great big continent of misguided self-obsession. I felt enveloped and free in this unexpected refuge and when the inside of the home crumbled I began walking again; drive, park in unknown territory and walk to the next pebble along the pathway taking me to the next patch of light and revelation will soon follow, that is the promise. Life is filled with reeling and thrashing people and these walks are not without their own treachery, a van driven by a very angry woman, her face twisted in rage and betrayal nearly mows me down so for a moment I am catapulted into her life but, I quickly extricate myself and walk on. Several blocks later, another woman backs out, her eyes bored and entitled as she makes me wait while she slowly drives her expensive car into the flow of traffic , I smile and wait patiently, I know who she is; she is self-consuming anger that has morphed into hate for the shards of herself that stopped seeking freedom. I don't get much farther on this sojourn as I am forced to turn back around a mere two blocks after the woman who backed out slowly, a German Shepherd is baring his teeth, growling and ready to lunge at my throat. I don't need anymore signposts, time to turn around and head in another direction; this is not the road for me.