Wallow or Move On

Life is all about the choices we make. Sometimes we make the right choices and sometimes we make the wrong choices. Even when we make the right choices, there still might be negative consequences. Just because you make a choice that is the best choice for you, doesn't mean that it will be the best choice for everyone. There may be people hurt by your choice. Hearts might be broken, hopes might be dashed, and other negative fallout could be looming on the horizon.

My focus right now is on the whole part on moving on. This is for the people who made the best choice for them: They went for what they wanted. They put themselves and in some cases their hearts out there. In the end, their good choice had negative consequences. These people took a gamble, and it didn't turn out in their favor. It happens. Now the question is, what do you do next?

You have 2 choices, you can wallow or you can move on. Yes, you need to take the appropriate time to grieve/mourn/be just plain be pissed off and get that out of your system. However once that window has passed you can either stay mired in the drama or you can move on and past the situation. My vote: move on and past it.

Yes I know, it is easier said than done. Yes I know it still hurts like hell. This is especially true if you can't escape said situation being (in some cases this is sadly unintentional...sometimes you can't get enough space away from it and/or the other party may just not see how insensitive they are being...other times the other party is just being cruel) thrown in your face.

The best way to move on is to let go. This will hurt like hell at first. Maybe this person or plan or whatever it may be was a huge part of your life. Still you need to create some distance. If it is a person, sometimes you just have to cut them off. That means no phone calls, texts, e-mails...nothing. You never want to forget the good times. You never want to forget the lessons you learned or how this experience has changed you as a person. You will always want to treasure those memories. It is the bad stuff you want to remove yourself from. You need to end the cycle and change your mindset. Letting go can be heart wrenching. However, if you really honestly do move on, the pain is temporary. Wallowing only extends your misery.

Hopefully there will be a point where you can safely say the pain and hurt has subsided. I think of it in regards to my Dodge Neon. Okay. Most of you know I had been driving my car for about four years, and a little over a week ago I traded it in for a new car. I have moments where I miss the Neon. We had some good times together, and I will never forget that. However, there reached a point where she was becoming more of an issue than it was worth. No matter how much time or money I put into her, there were always more issues. Pretty soon the problems were outweighing the positives. Getting rid of the Neon was a difficult choice, but it had to be done. I miss my old car from time to time, but I am very happy that she isn't my problem any more. Okay, so the Neon doesn't call or text me or do anything malicious to make me more miserable (and if I did I would be quite horrified). That being said I think the concept is still sound.

Moving on is not just merely letting go. There is a second part. That is looking to the future. I'm not saying create an iron clad plan full of expectations and timelines. I'm just meaning start looking ahead at your life and start living it on your own terms. I don't have any big plans. My only huge goal is to get the writing career going full time. I am not closed off to other options by any means. I am just seeing where life is taking me. Yes, I have had a few things not exactly pan out, but I sort of like where it has left me. It has made me more aware of myself, and more assertive. I like the people in my life, and I can't imagine what I would do with out many of them. I'm open to the possibilities and I'm not setting my heart on anything. Really, I am the happiest I have been a really long time and I love it. That is what I need in my life right now. The question is what do you need in YOUR life? Yes, this is all about you. What do you need?