Walmart, Starbucks and Other Minor Pains in The...
Do These Things Annoy You?
I was making a wonderfully delectable ham sandwich, loaded with all of my favorite toppings. I go to put on the final piece of the sandwich puzzle and end up with mustard water dribbling into my sandwich.
I was sitting at a red light and a car pulled up alongside me. I inched forward a bit and they did too. I inched further still, and they did too. I could not let them win.
I was in a company meeting the other day after a fine lunch of tamales, and refried beans. When the beans responded I thought I could get away with a silent release. I was wrong.
While attending a wedding, I knew that the wedding was a disaster waiting to happen. Then they asked if anyone has any objections. I hate that moment.
While standing in line at Starbucks, the lady in front of me insisted on learning how to order. I knew I would be late.
While at Walmart shopping for a LCD television, I asked the fellow in the electronics department if he knew the difference between a LCD and a plasma television. He said, "About 299 bucks."
I was holding onto my last twenty bucks for a fantastic Friday lunch with the boys. My daughter handed me a note asking for permission to attend a field trip on Monday. Cost = 20 bucks.
My personal trainer was not available to help me work out the other day. He was on a smoke break.
When I spend my last ten bucks on Girl Scout Cookies, and then realize my tank is on empty.
I was going to swim a few laps at my local YMCA. Just as I dive in and surface, in jumps Jethro in a speedo and way too much body hair.
I was going to take a shower, and my wife decides it is a fine time to do laundry...in hot water.
I went out to cut my grass, and my weedeater choked out from the raindrops.
I decided to go running the other day and developed a rash....any rash.
I wrote out a brilliant article for Associated Content and when I checked the word count it read 399.
I checked my power ball lottery ticket and matched three out of five balls for the first time! I was rolling in the money! I was rich! I was on the wrong day.
Do these things annoy you too?
Published by Rodney Southern - Featured Contributor in Sports
My name is Rodney Southern and I have a lovely wife, Julie, and two beautiful twin daughters, Brooke and Valerie. Also, I was the 2008 Ultimate Call for Content Winner, and awarded a Top 100 badge for Associ... View profile
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45 Comments
Post a CommentThis morning I put washing on the line (I had been up since 7 and no sign of rain between then and when the washing machine finished the cycle at 10)...only to see an enormous black cloud and some raindrops as soon I was back in the house (I don't have a clothes dryer). i feel your pain about the other things too.
Hee! Very funny stuff. Don't forget to shake the mustard, dude. :)
:) I love this!!!!!!!
Praise the Lord guess what????? :) Kayla got $5 from a Bible lesson yesterday (she learned about giving and borrowing at Sunday school) so she is using that and I think I can scrounge up a buck for her. Now she is happy!!! Jesus surely supplies our needs!! Praise His name!!
I feel your pain! I don't like people to try and get ahead of me in the car either. My mom gets ticked, too! LOL Although now that I have kids I am a much calmer driver. ;-)
yes, yes yes...very annoying most of them ....fun to read though
Not funny!At All!
LOL.. I can relate to the 399 words.. :-)
Is this supposed to be your stand-up routine. You people who actually think this is funny need to watck comedy central, thats comedy!
I hear ya!!!