Want to Coach? Prepare to Deal with Angry Parents

No matter which sport, which season or which town it may be, every year, hundreds of good-hearted, well-meaning people decide to take on the responsibility of coaching. It sounds like a good idea: Spend a couple of hours a few nights a week helping out the youth in your community. Unfortunately, much too often, that well-intended good gesture becomes a horrible nightmare.

Anyone who has attended any type of sporting event has heard it. There always seems to be that one individual or group who must let the coach know just how bad of a job he or she is doing. Most of the time the person or persons making the comments about the coach are parents who believe their child is getting treated unfairly. Those people are often the least knowledgeable about game and the situation.

Parents say and do a lot of stupid things out of love for their children. This is something that coaches much realize and understand if they want to get through a season without loosing their mind. Realizing it is easy. Understanding it is not so easy. Do parents honestly believe this is the best way for them to support their child?

First of all let's not lump all parents together. Most parents do not act like this. In fact the percentage of parents we are talking about is very small. However, they are the loudest and sometimes the only parents a coach will get to communicate with during a season. The rest of the parents will quietly support their children from the sidelines and normally never cause a problem.

The upset parent can be the most difficult problem a coach can have during the course of a season. You never know where they are coming from. You never know exactly what has got them so upset. Parents when dealing with a coach will often hide what their real problem is. Why? Normally they do not what to embarrass themselves. However, they will always tell you, when the truth comes out, that they were afraid their kid would be punished for their comments.

Parents never seem to have any boundaries when they are upset. A parent will rip a coach apart about everything. Upset parents always seem to bring coaches personal life into the conversation. Why? Parents are looking to build a strong defense for why they are upset. The more evidence they have the more comfortable they will be. Look out if the coach has his or hers own child on the team.

So what are the real problems that parents have? Ninety percent of the time the parent is upset about one thing and one thing only. PLAYING TIME! When you finally break it all down and dismiss everything else, you will find playing time is all that is left. If a certain type of parent thinks that another child is getting more time than their child, the coach will know. Funny thing, if their child is getting more playing time than another child they rarely say a word.

Parents embarrass easy. They will never admit to it but it is true. If their child is not playing that much or their child makes a mistake, they get embarrassed. Remember what we talked about earlier. Parents do and say a lot of stupid things out of love for their children. Blaming the coach is the easiest way for a parent to explain their child's' lack of playing time and or mistakes.

What should the coach do? No matter what the coach dose there is always going to be some sort of parent coach issue. However, there are a few steps a coach can take to help cut down on the number and severity of those problems. First a coach should have a pre-season parent meeting. Explain to the parents the rules of the game, practice rules and playing time rules. Give parents written information to take with them. Again, a copy of the rules, schedules, directions to events and any other information they may need.

Another tactic that many experienced coaches will use when dealing with parents is very simple. Give them a job. Not a coaching job, but some task related to the team that will be in the public eye. Fundraiser, team meals, photographer, find something for them to do that is close but not to close to you as the coach. Why? It is hard for that parent to complain about you and your program if they are right in the middle of it.

The hardest thing a coach will have to learn to do in order to survive is bite their tongue. No one likes to sit back and be yelled at. No one enjoys being talked about negatively in public. Unfortunately, this is part of coaching. Verbal public abuse for some unknown reason always seems to come hand in hand with coaching. Is it fair? No, but it is there and always will be there. The worst thing a coach can do is get into a verbal war with a parent. No one ever wins and the coach and the team have everything to loose.

Coaching can be a great and rewarding opportunity. The chance to help young athletes learn and grow is one of the greatest feelings in the world. But with the good comes the bad. Coaches, who have made it through and learned to deal with the parents, become some of the greatest coaches. Those coaches who never learn, normally quit after one season, or sooner and much too often end their short career in disgrace. Any person who is considering taking on a coaching job needs to be sure of what they are getting into, and if they can handle it. Good luck.