Want a Raise

Today we take a look at the latest, looney-liberal, left wing-nut idea. Just who in the world is Howard Sapers you ask, and why should you care? Mr. Sapers is the federal ombudsman for prisoners and this causes us some worry. Why do prisoners need an ombudsman in the first place? Mr. Sapers and his ilk would have you believe it is because prisoners are mistreated and misunderstood. Here's a little clue for Mr. Sapers and his crowd. They are referred to as CONVICTS for a reason. If they knew how to follow a few simple rules, they wouldn't be where they are today. As soon as the door slams behind them, they should lose all rights generally afforded to those of us who can follow the rules.

Last month Howard came up with the brilliant idea of giving convicts access to computers inside their cells. In the fairy tale land that Mr. Sapers and other libs live in, the cons wouldn't spend their time checking out the porn sites or e-mailing their cohorts on the outside to keep business flowing while they were away on sabbatical. All you have to do is ask them. Hell if you can't trust a con, who can you trust?

Now, Mr. Sapers says that Canada's inmates are underpaid, telling Correctional Services of Canada that compensation for their work and participation in programs hasn't increased in nearly 20 years. The cons need a raise. I'm still trying to get my head around this one. Today, the most a con can earn is $6.90 per day if they participate in prison programs, work in the laundry department, or in certain workshops, including metal, wood and textile. They are given free room and board, free clothing and free medical and dental treatment. This now costs the taxpayer up to $110,000 a year per man and $150,000 per woman. Think about how much money you make a year and what bills you have to pay out of that, and then tell me that at an average cost of $130 large per convict, they're not living in a 'Club Fed'. Think about the guy who flipped that last burger for you and what he has to pay out of his minimum wage pay packet, and tell me you feel sorry for the con.

The Prisoners' Rights Committee is asking that inmates get paid at least minimum wage. "They will be better prepared to resume their lives on the outside," said Jean-Claude Bernheim, a criminal law specialist with the committee. Help me out here. Does this guy sound like a liberal to you? We've already discussed the issue of 'prisoners' rights', but we still have numbskulls like this fighting for a convicts 'right' to vote in an election. More to the point, how is giving a prisoner more money going to make him more responsible? Sapers says that other than the freebies, a con has to pay cold, hard cash for such niceties as cigarettes, chocolate and booze. I almost fell off my chair, laughing, when I read this.

With our draconian smoking laws, cigarettes are not allowed in prison, so why would a con be buying butts? (I know, sex is disallowed too, but they give out free condoms in the joint. I wonder why?) I'll concede on the chocolate issue. I love it although I'm not addicted to it, but I know some women who 'can't live without it'. But booze? We know that prisoners will find a way of getting it, come hell or high water, but it's still illegal within the walls. And Mr. Sapers wants to give them more money so that they can more easily obtain it. How about giving me more money so I too can get it more easily?

These extra costs create a black market economy, Sapers said, with prisoners borrowing from their fellow inmates and assuming all the risks that come along with those arrangements. No shit, Sherlock. I buy black market cigarettes all the time. There is a risk that comes with that and so I take the risk instead of paying the government huge taxes on a legal product it says I can no longer use. The creation of a parallel prison economy often results in intimidation, harassment, and both physical and psychological abuse among prisoners. Well, if I borrow some money from someone, I'm sure that if I didn't pay, I'd be intimidated and harassed too until I paid off the debt. If I borrowed from a loan shark (not that any cons are loan sharks, they follow the same rules and behave the same as your local neighbourhood bank, don't they?) I would expect both physical and psychological abuse if I didn't pony up.

The problem with having a federal ombudsman for prisoners is that he has to do something to earn his keep. And this latest idea is so far off the wall it defies description. What is more appalling is the fact that Correctional Service Canada says that it's studying this pay raise for convicts, including indexing it to inflation. Consider that if you give a spendthrift convict who can't manage $30 a week $300 instead, will he do a better job of staying out of the way of prison loan sharks? Hardly. He becomes a treat for those looking for a 'bitch' and will probably get to pay for the privilege.

I, for one, am sick and tired of this constant mollycoddling of criminals by our lax justice system, from the moment they're caught to the moment they typically get early parole. What we need is an ombudsman to protect them from our catch-and-release criminal justice system.