Want to Send a Hint, Cheer Someone Up, Get Rid of a Pest? Hotlines and Websites

With the rise of technology, electronic assistants such as email reminders, bill notifications via text messages, and online bill payments have become common and dependable sources. The convenience of these services, along with their opportunity for anonymity, has found its way to cover the awkward situations in life - breaking up, escaping from a meeting or date, and letting someone know about their bad hygeine.

The Rejection Hotline is probably the most popular type of this service. The hotline is a collection of fake numbers, that when called, give a recording to let the caller know that they have been rejected. It was created, according to the website (rejectionhotline.com), as a joke, but gained popularity by making it easier to turn someone down while keeping the dismissal private. As the website explains:

"The rejector has an easy way to get rid of unwanted suitors, to express a lack of interest in a non-confrontational manner, and to gracefully escape an uncomfortable situation.

The rejectee, on the other hand, is able to hear the bad news in the privacy of his/her own home without being subjected to public embarrassment and/or ridicule from anyone who otherwise might have witnessed a more public rejection. Further, there are no unanswered "what if's," no desperate assumptions of "I must have just misdialed," and no ambiguity - all of which are common by-products of the randomly selected fake numbers which were more common before the advent of the Rejection Hotline."

Rather than using random fake numbers (which can bother strangers such as elderly people, companies, and other innocent bystanders), or the Hollywood use of 555-any four numbers, the phone numbers on the Rejection Hotline look quite real. They have them broken down by area code for each state, using the most popular ones for the cities, making them more believable. When the number is dialed, the caller hears this recording:

"Hello, this is not the person you were trying to call. You have reached the Rejection Hotline provided by RejectionHotline.com! Unfortunately the person who gave you this number did not want you to have their real number. We know this sucks, but don't be too devastated. So, why were you given the Rejection Hotline number? Maybe you're just not this person's type. Note: This could mean boring, dumb, annoying, arrogant or just a general weirdo. Maybe you suffer from bad breath, body odor, or a nasty combination of the two.

Maybe you just gave off that creepy overbearing, psycho-stalker vibe and the idea of going out with you just seems as appealing as playing leapfrog with unicorns. Regardless of the reasons, please take the hint. Accept the fact you were rejected, and then get over it. And please, do your best to forget about the person who gave you this number, because trust us, they have already forgotten about you."

An alternative to the Rejection Hotline is the Screen Number service, from the same creators. After registering a screen number at the website (screennumber.com), callers leave a message which converts to an mp3 file and is sent to the person's email. What differs it from the other hotline is that it gives the provider of the screen number an opportunity to give the caller their real number if they so choose to do later, where as the Rejection Hotline is a flat out dismissal of any interest for the caller.

Another service that offers to avoid confrontation is the Breakup Butler (breakupbutler.com) a number that, when dialed, ends a relationship with a recording of a man with a proper English accent. There are two choices, a nice greeting (in which the butler admits the spinelessness of breaking up via a recorded message but the provider "couldn't bear to see the pain in your eyes", and a not-so-nice one, in which the butler's message suggests the provider of the message contracted an STD from the rejected person (and that person was the lucky one in the relationship, not the one who is doing the rejection).

Rejection calls are not only for individuals, but businesses as well. The Frustration Hotline (Frustrationhotline.com) puts the caller on hold for two minutes, with a recorded voice telling them how long their wait is, along with elevator music playing in the background. At the end of the two minutes, the caller hears a recording telling them that they dialed a fake number, along with a comical snarky laugh.

One service that was recently featured on CNN is Popularity Dialer, which delivers fake phone calls to a person either to give the impression that the person is popular, or to offer an escape from an awkward situation (such as a bad date). The receiver goes to the website (popularitydialer.com) and can choose from a general popularity call (from a male or female voice), an affirmation call (an ego boosting call), and a "return to office" call, all of which are free.

Uncomfortable situations are not only romantic ones; anonymous services also exist to notify others about bad breath and body odor. The Prefresh website allows people to enter their friend's information into an online form so that the friend will receive an email letting them know about their problem (www.prefresh.co.nz/prefresh/friend.php) Badbreathogram.com offers the same service via email, which sends a humorous but informative message that "contains links to dental FAQ and a dentist referral service", after the sender pays for the message via Paypal.

Bad breath kits and body odor kits are available for purchase on the Dead Flower Florist website (Deadflowerflorist.com/products/product_hygeine.html). For those who want to send a free email informing someone of their bad breath, they can send a Stink-O-Gram, which offers other anonymous notifications as well. The sender can choose to tell someone that they have bad body odor, bad breath, an annoying ring tone, bad taste in ties, or that they tell too many stories about their pets/baby. They can even tell the receiver that they shouldn't have shaved their head, or "they are (in general) not so huge". (Alltooflat.com/funny/stinkogram)

If someone wants to send a message to someone who's having a bad day (or a hard time in general), they can give them the number on Itcouldalwayssuckmore.com. When called, the recording reminds the caller that things can, in fact, always suck more - the examples given go as such:

"Did you stub a toe or sprain an ankle? That sucks, but it could always suck more! You could have broken both arms and been rendered incapable of wiping your own *ss!!! Did you get a flat tire or a speeding ticket? That sucks! But it could always suck more, you could've lost control of your car careened off a cliff and been securely seat-belted in place when the car hit the ground and exploded into flames! Did you get cheated on or get dumped by the love of your life? That really sucks! But it could always suck more. That love of your life could've also stolen all your money, burned down your house, run off with your cousin, and left you with nothing but unpaid bills and a nasty incurable STD!"

The recording goes on to acknowledge that if all those hyperbolic, horrific events did happen to the caller, things could still be worse. The voice even jokes that the caller could have been duped into making a call to a number that charges almost twenty dollars per minute (the website insists this part was a joke, as apparently recipients of the recording had sent the websites emails threatening to sue. (http://www.rejectionhotline.com/rejection-news-story.aspx?id=6)

Whether someone wants to reject someone, let them know about bad hygiene, annoying behavior, or to cheer people up and remind them that their problems could in fact be worse, there are plenty of websites and services than can assist that person in letting their friend/significant other/co-worker/enemy know, and keep the sender anonymous. Avoiding confrontation and keeping things humorous can be helpful or harmful, but with the popularity of these types of services, along with the convenience of them, hotlines, untraceable emails, and kits can become as commonplace as texts and voicemails.