Wanted: More Good Mothers Who Recycle
Take Recycling to Another Level and Help Save a Kid and the Planet Too
But as crucial as the role of a mother is, may I suggest that we also consider honoring the millions of women who've made the unselfish decision NOT to bring more children into a world already crowded with six billion humans? Why isn't a special day set aside for them? We could call it something like "Child-Free Woman's Day" or "Take a Break from Breeding Day". Why does our government give tax breaks to people who have kids rather than to those who don't? Doesn't it seem that people who choose NOT to add to the already huge load of humans should be rewarded, not those who do? After all, people who don't create more people won't contribute to global warming, overpopulation, gridlock, wildlife extinction, land deterioration, water shortages, resource depletion, poverty, starvation, and disease, to mention just a few 21st century issues. We humans have been really hard on Planet Earth and our fellow animals. We may be the smartest species, but we're not the wisest. And the more babies that pop out of the oven, the more difficult it will be for the world to keep on keepin' on.
Add to that the fact that people often have children for all the wrong reasons, including everything from family and social pressures, boredom, loneliness, and sloppy or no birth control to just plain ignorance about what being a parent entails. This lack of good judgment can lead to unwanted, unhappy kids who get into trouble and often end up as addicts, criminals, or the lawyers who love them.
I watched the American Idol charity special and was struck by a video interview of a tearful twelve-year-old African boy who had suddenly found himself in the roles of both mother and father to his two siblings because his parents had died of AIDS. And I asked myself, for the umpteenth time, why is it that infertile couples spend years trying pricey, high-tech ways to get pregnant when there are so many homeless kids out there right now, desperate for parents? Why are post-menopausal women taking fertility drugs, and younger women hiring other young women to serve as their baby incubators? What are these people thinking? That humans are an endangered species? Is the evolutionary push to pass their DNA on to another generation that seductive?
For me it was an easy call not to be a mother. Call me crazy, but I just never had a burning desire to confront mouth drool and butt poop on a daily basis, and I can't tolerate loud, high-pitched noises. However, I recognize that many women would feel incomplete without little screaming meemies to clean up after. But instead of contributing to the suffering of our beleaguered planet by insisting on reproducing your own questionably superior genes, why not act more responsibly and adopt or foster orphaned children? That way you get to participate in a very hip and sensible post-modern endeavor: recycling (in this case, of kids), while at the same time satisfying your raging maternal drive. Yes, foster care can be gut wrenching, and the adoption process is often fraught with red tape and frustration, but the ultimate goal: helping a needy child, even for just a little while, as well as helping save the planet-should be well worth all the hassle. Just take a page from the playbook of those ultra-glam butt poop pros, adoptive mothers Angelina and Madonna, and you, too, can be served breakfast in bed once a year, without the guilt.
The world doesn't need more kids. What it needs are more good mothers.
Published by Barbara Joan Baxter
Barbara Joan is a freelance writer/editor/publisher/webhead and the proud guardian of ten dogs and cats. Books of poems and a memoir are in the works. View profile
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24 Comments
Post a CommentI don't believe specific genders are specified in ZPG--you could end up with two daughters or two sons--but yes, you sound like you're basically following the ZPG thing. Plus, if you end up adopting at some point, you'll really be doing a service to the planet.
Well, if you just replace yourself, then that would mean each mother should have a daughter and each father a son...which would still be two kids per couple. :) So far that's all I've got!
The difference between screwed up now, and screwed up in the past, is that there are a lot more people now to contribute to an even bigger screw-up. And you can't solve the problem by adding the same bad elements to it (i.e., more people). I keep going back to the same point, but I just don't see a good reason for anyone to bring their own kids into the world as it is now. And I think that having biological kids just because you want to is just plain selfish; we all need to think about the big picture, not just our tiny corner of it. There used to be (probably still is) a movement called ZPG--Zero Population Growth, the idea being that you just replace yourself and don't add to the overpopulation crisis. Kind of a compromise solution--I would go more for one biological child per family at most, a la China--but ZPG is another way to be responsible about the whole breeding thing.
At any rate, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on some of this, my dear Heather. ;)
(cont.) a kid into a politically screwed-up, overpopulated, polluted world with not a whole lot of good job opportunities. That tends to detract from the miracle part, for me.
Wow, you have a lot to say about this subject, and you sound like you're a great mother too. I'm also an animal advocate, and I think that the breeding/reproduction, whatever you want to call it, of all domesticated animals (including humans, pets, livestock) should be strictly limited. Domesticated animals, human and nonhuman, have pretty much taken over the planet, to the detriment of wildlife and the natural world. China got a bad rep for limiting families to one child each, but I think, for all the evils of its government, it's on the right track. There should be more education about adopting needy, parent-less kids, and clearly the cost of adoption should be lowered. And foster kids obviously need to find permanent homes as soon as possible. As for "the miracle of birth" that you speak of, I'm sure it's quite an experience, but it's not one that I ever needed to go through, and I think more women (and men) than you think would agree with me--particularly since you're bringing
Sorry for the first post; I wasn't signed in, lol, as you could see. :) I'm enjoying this dialogue with you btw. It is really nice to be able to discuss this civilly. People have such strong opinions about things like this, and sometimes it makes for awful discussions. But this one is pleasant :)
If we all adopted one child or did foster parenting, that would be marvelous. Those are good experiences to have, and they help the world. But I've been through pregnancy and childbirth, and that's a different and good experience too. I think people should experience it, if they are ready and are committed to being good parents and all, because it shows just what it takes to bring life into the world. I totally agree some people have kids for the wrong reasons, and there is way too much pressure for people to have kids even if it's not their true desire. I agree that parenting is a privelege, and people should put a lot of thought into it. I put thought AND emotion into my parenting. There has to be a balance. Because the one things kids need most of all, besides food, is love! I'm with you on encouraging adoption and foster parenting, but those things just aren't right for everyone. And that's partly to do with emotion and partly to do with other factors.
There is foster parenting, but you only get to keep those kids for a few weeks, months, maybe a year. Most of them go to another home or back to their original home. That's a real heartache especially when you want so badly to have a child who is part of your family forever, who is yours to raise. The government tells you how to raise foster kids; you get to decide how to raise yours. Moreover, you don't get to raise the children from infancy. You have to just take whatever comes to you. You don't get to have a child at age 4 that you've had since he was a baby; you don't get to watch them grow. It's not the same. It is a wonderful thing to do for a child, but it doesn't even compare to what it's like being an actual parent of a child. Some of them do go up for adoption, and it's cheaper to adopt through foster care, but there are no guarantees.
Right now my son costs me maybe $100 extra a month to feed him? Every now and then he needs new clothes or something. Even in the first year, when we weren't cloth diapering and he needed new clothes all the time, we didn't spend much. It was like $200 a month. Even if saved $300 a month, it'd take 8-9 years. I wanted my first child at 20, not 29, for MANY reasons that all boil down to my feeling like I would serve a child better by becoming a young mother. You're right that people could do that,but we all have a different plan for our kids. Waiting a decade wasn't in my idea of what was best for this family. So far I still feel like I did the right thing because I can stay home with him, not worry about a career; I have energy to chase him...and my grandkids oneday! I am young enough to remember what it was like being a kid. I mean, there's just a lot of reasons why I feel like, for me--not everyone--this was the best time. And I feel this was best for my son, too. :)
(cont.) it, and are lousy at it because they're not happy with the job. That should stop.