War Has Traumatic Effect on Young Iraqi

At the beginning of this war, I was teaching with a young lady who is married to an Iraqi. They would be leaving at the end of the school year, returning to the war-torn home of her husband. As our government continued to tell us that few, if any, civilian Iraqis were being killed or injured, we knew better because we were getting daily reports from this young man's family in Iraq. As the U.S. stepped up its bombing, it became more and more difficult for the young man to contact his family until, finally, there was no word at all.

Two or three days later, I was between classes and went sailing into the teacher's lounge, dropping my books and purse on the table with a thud. At first, I thought I was in the lounge alone, but then I heard the sobs. The young man was around the corner, in the L-shaped room - face to the wall... and I had never heard such a sound of grief come out of a human being.

I said, "Are you alright?" He got control of his voice enough to weep "I can't find my mother." I didn't know what to say or do. I said, "I know that nothing can comfort you now. But just hang on. Someone will call. Just hang on."

The young man faced the wall again and sobbed "But I don't understand... I don't understand." I asked "Honey, what is it that you don't understand?"

He looked at me... a young Muslim man... still sobbing... and said "But Abraham was our father too."

That was it for me. My own tears came out of nowhere. I cried for him, for his mother, for our own children who were over there. How could it have all come down to this?

The next day, the young man heard from his family. His mother was alright and the family had been moved to safety. Unfortunately, this scare was more than the young man could handle. His wife tendered her resignation and they left for Iraq almost immediately. I never heard from them again and have no idea if they are even still alive.

The question of whether there can ever be a just war is one that philosophers and ethicists have argued for centuries. We may never have a definitive answer to that question. However, I know that the deliberate infliction of trauma, for the sake of meanness, creates a wound that may never heal. This war has inflicted that kind of wound on both sides. The best revenge would be for the two sides to forgive each other and lock out the monsters who contrived it. After all, Abraham was our father too.