Warning! All Parents Getting a Divorce, Beware

It's sad but true, couples who at one time loved each other and had children are getting divorced. You need to be very careful about how you react in front of them. Depending on their age, you need to be sensitive to their needs. You don't want to upset them more than they are about mom and dad splitting. Children need to feel safe and secure, don't we all, and know that both parents love them. This knowledge that you love them will be conveyed by how you act and not only by what you say.

It goes without saying that you should never fight in front of the children. This is a very frightful experience for them. It could easily cause them to be fearful of the future. Be careful of what you say about the other parent when you are with the children. You child does not want to hear anything bad about the other parent or what they have done to you. Keep in mind that the child still loves the other parent even if you don't.

Do not keep the children away from the other parent. There may be an unusual exception that they are in danger with the other parent, but these situations are rare. When the child has a need to see that parent or talk to them on the phone, allow that to happen. Make it known that they can call them anytime, and that you would be happy to drive them to see your ex spouse's house anytime they wish. We are assuming they are within a reasonable driving distance here.

Your responsibility as a parent does not disappear at the courthouse after a divorce. Your children love you and still want to be part of your life. It's important to keep up a positive feeling for your children regardless of your feeling for your ex spouse.

It's very tempting but also very damaging...don't try to buy your child's affection with gifts or money. Time is what they want. Spend your time with them not your money. Keep all of your promises to them and don't disappoint them for any reason in terms of visit times. If you say you're going to be there at a certain time, make sure you are there.

In some cases, you child may need professional help. If that's the case make the necessary arrangements. It's crucial that a child has a chance to open up and talk to someone about what has happened to them. A third party listener may be the best course of action. In fact, maybe you could use a little third party listener, too.

Divorce is a frequent part of modern life. Discuss how you are going to handle the situation with your partner before the divorce is settled. Again, you may need professional advice. The divorce experience may have lasting negative effects on your children. Be aware of the traumatic nature of the situation and you and your partner do whatever you can to make it as painless as possible.