Warning to Parents of Teenagers

For months my oldest son had counted down the days until he reached the age to qualify for a driver's license. My wife and I had long dreaded this day as Chris was at a very awkward and clumsy stage of life and demonstrated no serious interest in learning how to drive. He just wanted to get a license and DRIVE!

On weekends at my insistence we would drive over to the local cemetery and use to wide and empty roads for practice sessions. Chris would take the wheel, jerk the car into gear (automatic transmission) and mash down on the accelerator like he was crushing a poisonous spider. The car would lurch forward and serve toward the curb-less edge of the road heading straight for centuries old tombstones. Stopping just short of unearthing the town's oldest citizen Chris would look at me and smile saying, "How's that for a quick reaction!".

Eventually, thanks to a Driver's Ed course offered at school, Chris received a certificate stating he was now qualified to sit for his driver's test.

To our surprise (and disappointment) Chris passed the test.

For the first month after receiving his license Chris's driving was restricted (by his mother and me) to running short errands in the car. This included trips to the grocery store for a loaf of bread, a short trip to the Post Office, a run to the local Drug store to pick up a prescription.

Chris hated these restrictions and wanted to be 'set free' to pick up his friends and drive to a movie or the local fast food hangout.

We resisted this as long as we could offering up any and all excuses, justifications for not giving Chris complete freedom with the family car. My wife and I stood back to back resolute in our stand to restrict Chris's use of the car....I should explain that Chris's driving had gotten no better. He still had no inkling of smooth starts and gentle acceleration. Trips to the store were always started with a roar of the engine, a crunch of the transmission as the car was muscled into gear with the engine revved, a squeal of tires and a huge puff of blue smoke as Chris motored down our formally quiet street.

One day much to my surprise my wife called me at work and said that she believed it was time to let Chris go out at night. He had been invited to a graduation party at a friends house and all of his classmates would be driving there. It would be very awkward for his parents to drop him off.

Reluctantly, I caved.

Thirty minutes before Chris was to leave for the party I sat down with him and explained the rules:

1. Drive straight to the party. No side trips.
2. Wear your seat belt.
3. Do not pick anyone up.
4. Do not cruise the neighborhood.
5. Do not speed or run stop signs.
6. Come straight home after the party...No drive-in restaurants.

7. and most important of all......BE HOME NO LATER THAN 11:00 PM!!!!!!!!

Chris nodded and held his hands out for the keys, and off he went......ROAR!....CRUNCH!.....SQUEAL!.....SMOKE!

I was certain I saw a tear running down my wife's cheek.

As 11:00 PM drew near we listened for the sound of the car and Chris returning home, but heard nothing. No Squeal, no roar, no crunch.

At 11:15 PM my wife said we needed to be patient.

At 11:30 PM the news was over, the telephone was silent and no Chris in sight.

At 11:45 PM I opened the front door and looked down the street hoping to will Chris home, but there was no Chris and a wind-blown snow was beginning to fall, already starting to coat the paved street.

At Midnight the snowfall grew heavier,now coating our lawn and sidewalk....No Chris.

Really worried now we asked ourselves why we had not asked the name of the boy having the party. If we had we could could call and see if Chris was OK, but we hadn't.

12:15 AM we prepared for bed fully knowing that sleep was impossible until Chris was safe at home.

12:30 AM Opening the curtains I saw the snow was accumulating rapidly. No sign of Chris.

1:00 AM Out of bed I once again peered from the window and watched the blowing snow. Suddenly the faint glare of automobile headlights appeared as a car moved slowly, steadily down the street towards our house where it slowed even more and turned into our driveway. It was OUR CAR.

1:05 AM The front door quietly opened and a shoeless Chris all prepared to tiptoe stealthily into the house was greeted by a fuming ME standing in the doorway in my boxer shorts.

Before I could say a word, Chris seized the moment saying, "I know I'm late, but I have a good excuse".

"Let's hear it", I said.

Chris put down his shoes and calmly said, " You know that I went to a graduation party and I didn't forget That I was told to be home by 11:00, but, Dad I had too much to drink at the party and decided it might be best if I remained at the party until I sobered up!

It was more than I could comprehend. To my knowledge Chris had never had so much as a sip of Beer! ..And now a brand new, teenage driver, who at best was an inexperienced and poor driver, driving home on snow covered roads, in a blowing snow-storm while under the influence of alcohol!

There Must Be A God!

I'll let the reader decide where we went from here. I was furious, but somehow grateful Chris had enough sense not to drive home while intoxicated, regardless of our deadline. I gave him credit for that, but not sufficient credit to keep from being grounded until his first gray hair appeared.

My purpose in telling this story (which is true) is to prepare you parents of pre-teens and young teens for what you can look forward to.......even though there really is no way you can prepare for a new crop of teens.....They are way ahead of us!

Good Luck!