Was This What God Intended for Me?

As soon as things are good someone stabs me right through

the back, directly into my heart. Am I really that bad?

What did I do? All I've ever wanted to do was help. Just when

I begin to feel a little more than the numbness that's ruled my life

for so many years, it all comes crumbling down. My mind is fragmented

between the strongest love for life itself, people and humanity then the pain people

seem unable to keep themselves from inflicting on everyone around them.

I used to feel I was brought into this part of my life for a reason, to help, to be

there for the people I care about and all I get in return is despair thrown in my face

over and over again. I can feel the numbness slipping over me like a cold

familiar blanket that's been yearning to jump out and cloak me in the sadness that

seems determined to follow me to an early grave.